Tues, Mar 5
... Something new
I had a really odd dream-within-a-dream last night. I was having this dream that I got to go on the missions trip because Sharla was pregnant and couldn't go, so I got to take her place. Later on in the night, though, I had another dream, and I realized that this was just a dream and I told her about this dream I'd had about her, and we had a good laugh over it. Kinda weird, hey? I'll have to tell her about both of them the next time I see her.
I want school to be over with; I don't even care about going back for these last 4 or 5 weeks. I've already missed the first 2 days back after reading week, and I quite honestly couldn't care less. I don't want to go back. I want to be finished with it now, not a month from now.
I need a change in routine, in expectations, in responsibilities, in everything. I just want to be somewhere other than here. Not necessarily somewhere other than where I am physically right now, but somewhere else in other ways. I'm so sick of things right now.
"Things." Heh. How general is that? For someone who's supposed to be at least half decent at putting her thoughts into words, I'm certainly being general. I just don't know how to say it. I'm sick of a lot of things. Maybe not quite absolutely everything in my life, but definitely a lot of it.
Am I the only one who doesn't like doing things I don't do well in front of people? I'll try new things on my own, and when I'm by myself, I have absolutely no problem doing things that are challenging, new, or out of my comfort zone. Put me with my friends, though, and I shy away from doing them. I hate looking foolish; like I don't know what I'm doing. I would rather master something, and then surprise everyone by all of a sudden being able to do it well, and they had no clue that I even knew how to in the first place.
You gotta love pms days. An excuse for acting like the biggest bitch in the world and then bursting into tears when no one's looking? Sure, why not. :o)
infinite || abyss
posted at 8:04 p.m.
