Wed, Jan 9
... No rest for the wicked
*sigh* I seem to be doing a lot of that lately. What a crazy night last night... I didn't sleep well at all. Normally, I don't move around all that much, but I woke up in the middle of the night, down towards the foot of my bed, with my discman underneath me and my pillow still up at the head of the bed. I must have been really, really restless, even in my sleep. Sad that even when I'm sleeping I can't get away from the things that worry me or stress me out during the day.
I repeated with Sharla yesterday. I love that girl so much! That was such a great time... we went for 6 or 7 minutes straight, which is really amazing for not having done it in a year (for me, anyways). It was fun... I'm excited to be able to repeat with her more regularly. We have fun together. She's a crazy nut, and I love her to bits! :o)
I'm typing this in the school library, and Shannon's lying on the floor between my computer and Charles', which is right beside mine. We just had a nice talk about our classes and stuff like that. She's cute. They're getting married in May, and I'm going to go to Kelowna for the wedding. That'll be fun times.
No one's left me a note or signed my guestbook since the beginning-ish of December. :o( Sad day for me... someone please write something to me... :o)
This is turning into mindless drivel and mush. I think I'm just afraid that if I start to think and actually feel, I'll start writing something angry and frustrated that won't do any good in the long run, and that will just hurt more people than it will help. I need to vent and sort through a lot of stuff in my own mind, but not on here. It has to be just that--in my own mind.
We were talking today in Acting and Scene Study about instincts and acting, and how onstage, the success to being real is to stop thinking; to "listen and answer truthfully under given imaginary circumstances." But we were talking about how we need to learn to stop thinking onstage, but retain enough of the cultural and social boundaries in the way that we live offstage that we don't just spout off whatever comes to mind, even though we do that onstage. What a run-on sentence. I don't know if that makes any sense whatsoever to anyone besides me, but it made me think about being "real" and how far is too far. How far is it that I can safely go in being spontaneous and real with other people in real life, before it gets to be too much and I'm offending people unnecessarily?
I don't know. My brain's way too tired to think about that right now. All I want to do is go to sleep. I don't have any more classes, so supposedly I should be able to go home and sleep, but unfortunately, I have to go to work in about an hour. Bleah. Ah well...
infinite || abyss
posted at 11:01 a.m.
