Sun, May. 26
... Someday we'll find it
The simple life? That's something I haven't experienced in quite some time. I just haven't been in a place where a simple existance has been possible. Or where I haven't made it possible. Today was so great, though. It had such a laid-back, relaxed, not rushed feeling to it all around.
I went out to Norm's church in Banff this morning, and hung out with him and his family all afternoon. It was just so... simple. That's the only way I can describe it. It's not that they've stripped away the things like TV, entertainment, or modern amenities or anything like that, but ther'es so much less pressure. Everything just seemed to go at a slower pace. Life was less complicated. It was like, just for one day, I stepped into another world and was able to leave mine behind for just a little while. Leave behind the junk and the crap, and just chill.
It was really good to see him again. I'm glad I'm out of high school, and I know it was time to move on, and I'm glad I'm not living in the past, but there are days when that feels like the "golden era," when life was simpler, God seemed more real, and faith was easier. The hard times were stretching and made me grow, but they were definitely different than they are now. They were hard in a different--and in a lot of ways easier--way. That's okay, though, because I wasn't ready for this. I had to go through that to get to this, and I had to learn from those mistakes to even get through these ones.
I've missed Norm a lot in the past two years, though. I mean, it's been good, even without him here, and leaving was definitely where God was leading him, but there have been days when I just wanted to bounce something off of him so badly. But, life goes on, and no one's ever replaced, but new people come in and new situations arise.
I've grown up a lot lately. In the past few years, for sure, but even in the past couple of months. I've seen leaps and bounds, in myself, in relationships, in my relationship with God... it's nice to know that even when I'd sort of given up on myself, God hadn't, and there were still things that didn't need to be given up on quite yet. He's always got more in store.
I love that he doesn't give up, and he's so much more faithful than I ever could or will be. I look back on some of the times when I've been least faithful to him, and most concerned with myself, and furthest away from where I should be and where I needed to be, and I see him still providing, still answering prayers, still being faithful. I take, take, take so much and never think of what it's costing him. I never think of what I do to him, and I just keep on doing things my way. But he's always there.
Life is really so much more complicated than it needs to be. Norm was saying today that he's learned that life is about "loving God and making room for loving people." That's what's important, and that's the biggest thing.
I get encouraged when I hang out with him. Not only because he can encourage me with what God's saying through him, or what God's doing, or something like that, but I just watch his life, and I get hopeful that maybe there's a guy like that out there for me. Norm really loves his family, and he's one of the most sincere people I know when it comes to putting God first, family second, everyone else third. I know he struggles with it, but I know he tries, and he strives to live that kind of life. He really is a godly man, and if my husband is like him, I will be a blessed woman.
infinite || abyss
posted at 11:43 p.m.
