Sunday, Jul. 31, 2005
... Speak of dreams to dust
Promised you forever... there's no stronger word I can use.
I got to church this morning at 8, only to find that Dan and I had been double-booked for our shift, so I didn't have to be there at all. And it was 8:00 a.m. Oy.
I'm tired, and I can't sleep. I should be, but I just... can't. It works that way some days. Especially lately.
I've been listening to old-school Jars of Clay lately. Their first album. Ah, the high school memories. Songs I haven't heard or even thought of in years, but it reminds me why they've always been one of my favorites. It's amazing how fast the lyrics come back. Even though I couldn't always place every song just by the title after so many years, I can sing along to every one of them, and get most of the words right, too.
I had that one on cassette, and I think I listened to it until the tape was warped and slightly shredded. Of course, the fact that my tape player was a cheap piece of crap didn't help any, but still. Good memories.
Ben lead worship this weekend at church, and there was something of a time-warp. I don't think I've been in a service that he lead since I was in high school. It was a fun and slightly surreal experience.
I feel sick. I had a nosebleed this morning, and I think I swallowed more blood than was good for me. That, plus the fact that I haven't eaten yet today have got to be wreaking havoc on my stomach.
Why is it that something can be an issue for months and months without being the primary concern, and then, all of a sudden, it's all I can think about?
Oy. I need to talk to Becky.
One year ago today: Oh, the power of suggestion. I remain convinced that we can decide to feel almost anything, whether it's a conscious or subconscious decision, and that, given enough time and impetus, we can change our emotions. People in general, that is.
infinite || abyss
posted at 3:00 p.m.
