Thurs, Jul. 17
... Deep and endless
One more night in Rimbey, and then back to Calgary. It'll be good to get home. There really isn't a whole lot to do around here.
I'm rereading A Ring of Endless Light, by Madeleine L'Engle. One of my favorites; one of the ones I picked up at the bookstore in Lethbridge last week. I really just want to get a great, comprehensive library of all her books, because now there are so many that I want to read again, that fit into that book, and I have to try to find them--I can't just pick them up at home.
Julie told me about a good used bookstore in Calgary that I haven't been to yet... maybe I'll have to go this weekend. I love that I'm buying all these books when I'm supposed to be packing and getting ready to move. Yeah... that's the other thing I need to get before I move into the new place--a bigger bookshelf. The one I've got right now will hold maybe 1/2 of my books, if that.
I'm never going to become the kind of thinker that I want to be. I read books like Madeleine L'Engle's, or C.S. Lewis', and I realize how far beyond me their philosophies and theologies are, and I wonder if I'll ever reach that point. I understand what they're saying, but I just don't have the kind of mind that will think of those things myself. I realize that they had a good 60 or 70 years of age on me when those were written, but I really wonder if I'll have that kind of eloquence. Someday.
I want my words to inspire the same sort of reaction as theirs have, but it feels like I have such a trite and small vocabulary. I can't shape the words into the pictures and images that I want to convey. My thoughts are brighter than the words I have to express them, and I can't wait for the day when I read something I've written and realize that it's profound.
I keep reading, keep learning, keep trying, keep expanding, but I don't think it'll ever be big enough. Language is such a beautiful gift, and it's something that I can barely begin to grasp. The complexity and intensity of the spoken and written word is far beyond my comprehension. We take it so much for granted, yet we as a society are so woefully inadequate to use the words we've created. We don't understand how much more to it there is than the bits and pieces that are part of our daily lives.
Anyways. Laurel's waiting for me (again), so I should get going. It's time to try and find something else to do.
For some reason, this week I really can't wait to get home.
infinite || abyss
posted at 2:44 p.m.
