Fri, Mar. 4
... In spite of everything
Okay, I've got the production meeting report sent out, I went prop shopping this morning (and still have to raid every kitchen I can find for more), I have to finish writing my curriculum and map out next week's Sunday School... and now I'm off to work.
If only I had longer than 2 weeks to get all these props together. No; if only I wasn't doing them. Speaking of... Sometime this weekend, I need to do up a cue list, a preset prop list, a scene by scene set dressing and prop list... Oy vey.
As much as I love the story of Anne Frank, I will be glad when this show is over. I have enough to focus on, and by this point, this show is just becoming another burden.
Gah. I'm excited for it, in a sense, but at the same time, I don't know how attached to it I am. I'm honestly not sure how many people I'll invite. I know that there are people who want to come, and for the kids' sake, I want there to be an audience (it sucks to do a show for no one), but... Do I want to attach my name, my training, my career, my reputation to this show? Is this really what I spent 4 years and many thousands of dollars to do?
Community theatre, yes. Youth-oriented community theatre, even moreso. But poorly done, non-committed, not-taken-seriously, somewhat last-minute youth-oriented community theatre? Not so much.
I honestly don't know what it is about this show. I've done other shows with kids this age--even with some of these kids--that have gone well. Yeah, there are always a few who don't take it seriously, and there are always setbacks, but it always works out in the end, and I don't usually feel this out of it. They're capable of more, and some of them have even shown me more.
What is it with this show? Why now? Why this particular group of people?
I have no answers. I don't know what it is that causes one show to be a gerat success and learning experience, and another to be a dud.
It's such a contrast between "Anne" and UBAR. Both are community theatre, but the atmosphere around UBAR is much more professional, and the expectations are way higher.
Maybe that was it? We didn't demand the same standard of excellence and dedication from day one? But then what can you--do you--expect from high school students? How far can you push them? Do you want to risk turning them off of theatre, and either way, is there a risk? Either you turn them away because you push them too hard, or you turn them away because they know they could have done better, and they don't want to be a part of another show like that?
Why can't I just shake them and get it through their thick little skulls that they can do so much more! They're talented, but they're not working. It's not just about memorizing lines (not that they've even really been committed to that)--it's about being committed to the show and dedicated to the rehearsals, and committed to doing the work at home to get the job done. To make the characters great.
Was it worth it? I can't answer that until March 19. When it's over, I'll be able to tell you whether or not it was worth all this.
One year ago today: Who else lives like this? Who else digs through bags of garbage outside their old house at 1:00 a.m. so they can find important documents before the trash goes out in the morning? Yeah, last night was quite an evening. And I thought it would be quiet and peaceful with some time to do homework. Ha! Since when do I ever get that?
infinite || abyss
posted at 11:30 a.m.
