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Alida: A 23-year-old Canadian exploring the infinite abyss that is New York City.

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I read... ---------- Jade Janna Jen and Mike John Kim Kristy Lara Laurel Lindsey Mia Morgan Robin Lee Shannon Trevor Vron

recent posts

Uncle Richard, me, and James Earl Jones - Tuesday, Apr. 04, 2006
So beautiful when the boy smiles - Sunday, Apr. 02, 2006
One way or another - Sunday, Dec. 25, 2005
Way up high - Saturday, Dec. 10, 2005
Reason to start over new - Friday, Dec. 09, 2005

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2005: January February March April May June July August September
2004: January February March April May June July August September October November December
2003: January February March April May June July August September October November December
2002: January February March April May June July August September October November December
2001: May June July August September October November December

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Obedience is a hard road to follow. I've known that all along, but I think I see it even more now... it's harder when you haven't been walking it the way you should have been for so long. But it's still there, and the capacity to be obedient is still there; it's still not an impossibility. It's just hard. Incredibly hard.

I'm becoming more motivated, though. There are more reasons than ever before to be obedient. And yes, I know that's selfish. I know that there should only be one reason necessary to be obedient, but so often it doesn't work that way. It works far too often like I weigh the pluses and minuses of obeying God, and then when it finally gets desperate enough that it works to my advantage to obey, I do. That's totally the wrong attitude for it; that's not the way it should be, but...

I'm getting desperate enough. I'm getting to the point where I have no choice but to be obedient, because, as Laurel would say, "My life is descending into the toilets of hell and I have to go fish it out." Or something along those lines.

So... more later on all of this. It'll be an adventure, I can promise that. And it won't be an easy one. But for once, I'm going to do it right. For once, I'm going to take the road I need to take, and do my best not to look back.
infinite || abyss