Wed, Nov. 27
... Forever or for never
Wow. What a day. It's been one of those days that's been busy, productive, and intense, all at the same time. Strangely so. I haven't even had the time to sit down and check my email until now, and it's almost midnight. Very, very rare for me. I got a lot done, though, which is always a good feeling. I feel like I should have done more, though. So much to do, so little time to do it in.
Kat and I went to "Who Has Seen The Wind" at ATP tonight... it was an amazing show. I love live theatre--the nights when I can go to a show, forget about everything else, and become so immersed in the characters' lives are amazing. It's such a release for me. I don't know what I'd do without it. I think that if I didn't have that way to feed myself and do something more than just be involved in shows all the time, I'd go crazy. I seriously would, I think.
Oy. I'm padding. That's not cool. You know you've been doing something for too long when...
I'm realizing as I get older what wonderful parents I have. Really. I'm realizing just how much of a servant heart both of them have. I mean, I always knew that they volunteered for as long as I can remember, but I'm just beginning to realize how much they've sacrificed for the sake of their volunteer work. I mean, my momo could easily have at least a part-time job by now, but she's turned down offers, because she wants to stay involved in all the things she volunteers in.
My dad has given up so many hours of seeding and harvest time to be at the church for various commitments, and there have been years--like this year--when he hasn't been able to get the crop off because he's been working at the church or doing something for a group. And honestly, most people don't know how much they do. Half the time, I don't know how much they do.
I come from an amazing legacy. If I can be half the servant my parents are, I'll be doing more in the church and community than most people do in a lifetime.
And I'm trying... I'm trying to live up to it. Sometimes, they're big shoes to fill, and I wonder if I'll ever be able to, but I'm learning to realize that I'm not them, and I don't need to do the same things that they do. I need to do what God's called me to do. And yeah, that's been influenced by my parents, but I don't have to live in their shadow. My gifts are mine--they're what God's given me, but I have a great example to follow.
One year ago today: It's funny to think of the people that I "know." I know so many people from high school; people that, if someone were to come up to me on the street and say, "Do you know so and so?" my answser would automatically be yes. The question, though, becomes, how well do I really know them? I haven't talked to most of the people I graduated with since I graduated. I can tell you all about their childhood: what they looked like in grade three, who they had crushes on, who they dated in high school, what their grades were like, what sorts of extracurriculur activities they were involved in... All sorts of information like that. But if you asked me what they're doing now, if they're still "together" with their high school sweetheart, where they live, what their favorite and best classes are now, I couldn't tell you.
infinite || abyss
posted at 11:54 p.m.
