about me

Alida: A 23-year-old Canadian exploring the infinite abyss that is New York City.

navigate

home
archives
profile
notes
guestbook
links
cast
about

I read... ---------- Jade Janna Jen and Mike John Kim Kristy Lara Laurel Lindsey Mia Morgan Robin Lee Shannon Trevor Vron

recent posts

Uncle Richard, me, and James Earl Jones - Tuesday, Apr. 04, 2006
So beautiful when the boy smiles - Sunday, Apr. 02, 2006
One way or another - Sunday, Dec. 25, 2005
Way up high - Saturday, Dec. 10, 2005
Reason to start over new - Friday, Dec. 09, 2005

archives

2005: January February March April May June July August September
2004: January February March April May June July August September October November December
2003: January February March April May June July August September October November December
2002: January February March April May June July August September October November December
2001: May June July August September October November December

credits

Diaryland
Valid XHTML!
Valid CSS!

Sometimes I wonder if I'm what my parents dreamed I'd be. When they found out, way back in the summer of 1981, that they were going to be parents, what did they think? How did they react? What were their dreams for me? What did they hope I'd become? Who did they think I'd be?

And as I've grown up, what dreams have been shattered? How have I disappointed them? How have I been more than what they expected? What new dreams have they dreamed for me? Have I fulfilled or broken those ones? What would they have done differently as parents? Would they have given me more or less freedom; punished me for the same things; chosen their battles differently; been different from who they've been to me?

How much of themselves do they see in me? What characteristics do they look at and say, "I have no idea where she got that!"? Do they think I'll succeed someday, or do they look at me and think, "I have no idea where she's going and where she'll end up!"? Are they more disappointed or more proud of me than they are of my brother and sister? Do they wish I'd had had a different influence on those two? Do they ever think they've made the wrong choices as parents?

Sometimes, I wonder these things. But I know I'll never ask.
infinite || abyss