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Alida: A 23-year-old Canadian exploring the infinite abyss that is New York City.

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I read... ---------- Jade Janna Jen and Mike John Kim Kristy Lara Laurel Lindsey Mia Morgan Robin Lee Shannon Trevor Vron

recent posts

Uncle Richard, me, and James Earl Jones - Tuesday, Apr. 04, 2006
So beautiful when the boy smiles - Sunday, Apr. 02, 2006
One way or another - Sunday, Dec. 25, 2005
Way up high - Saturday, Dec. 10, 2005
Reason to start over new - Friday, Dec. 09, 2005

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2004: January February March April May June July August September October November December
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2001: May June July August September October November December

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"You know, you don't have to smile if you don't want to." It was the most freeing comment. Even with the eight of them, I'm still not completely vulnerable, even though it's getting there, for all of us. We spend so much time together that we can't help but get to know each other incredibly well, and in the next few years, we'll get to know each other even better. There has to be a level of trust there, of not feeling like an idiot when we do something silly, or have a bad day, or get emotional in front of each other. Being around each other so much, especially in an acting setting, where we're constantly dealing with our emotions, we're going to see each other at our worst and at our best.

Anyways, yesterday, I wasn't having the best day, and in class, Tracey asked my opinion on something. I told her that I didn't really have anything to say today, that there wasn't much to say. Everyone kinda gathered that it was a rough day, but Micah said, "So that's not a real smile then, is it?" I shook my head no, the smile that had been pasted on my face starting to falter a little bit, although it was still mainly intact. She looked at me and said, "You know, you don't have to smile if you don't want to." It was the most freeing thing anyone could have said. It was like she was giving me permission to cry, right there in front of all of them. And cry I did. Not hard, not long, not to draw attention, because it didn't, and I didn't want it to. But it was long enough to be a release and to make things feel so much better than they had before.
infinite || abyss