Thurs, Oct. 28
... Keeps me up all night
I find that as I get older, the things that attract me to guys are the things that are much more lasting than just being good-looking, or even being a "nice" guy... I find myself seeing the guys who have a godly character, a sense of purpose, and who are pursuing God passionately.
There's someone I know who I liked a few years ago, and it (like all other guys I've liked) kind of fizzled out after a while. He's married now, but we're good friends, and I work with him in a ministry and a more professional setting. And the thing is, the qualities that I was attracted to two years ago are the things that make him a great person to work with now. They're the things that make me respect him as a leader and as a person, and they're not just important qualities to have within a dating relationship.
I was talking to Becky about this today, and her response? "It's called 'growing up,' Alida."
I love the relationship that I have with her. I've decided that the best phrase to describe it is "spectacularly abnormal." We talk about so much--more than a normal boss/employee relationship... in a lot of ways, we've become confidantes for each other, and it's such an incredible blessing.
Anyways. Back to men. At least I'm becoming more discerning. Which means that when the time does come, when the guy comes along, I'll be much more ready. I'm getting there. A little bit at a time. In the meantime, I'm gaining friends and learning what's really important. And I'm seeing, reflected in the guys I know and like, who I am, who I'm becoming, and who I want to see.
It's amazing how much other people in life become a mirror.
One year ago toady: The drive through the mountains is just so gorgeous, and there's something about the two-lane, winding highway that's very secluded, protected, and wild, almost. Once you hit Banff, the highway splits, and even though we're still in the mountains, it's the transition. We're hitting the foothills and coming out of the magic, into everyday life. There's less than an hour left, and the end of a great drive is imminent.
infinite || abyss
posted at 11:11 p.m.
