Sun, Jul. 6
... Trying to figure out this life
I found
an entry that I wrote about a year and a half ago, in which I talked about a conversation I'd had with a friend two years before that. We'd listed a lot of our dreams, and talked for hours about the things--the farfetched and realistic--that we wanted to accomplish in our lifetimes. It was a conversation we'd had on msn, so I still have a copy of the whole thing somewhere, but in this entry, I'd listed my list of things I wanted to do. And I realized that I've done some of them. More than I thought I had, actually.
Here's the original list, from December 1999, with my current comments about the goals.
Get my play publishedFinish writing my poetry anthology with Christy and write another one---I have the one copy of this, but it hasn't been published, and we definitely haven't worked on another one. It's still fun to re-read, though.Get married to the guy God's got for me---Heh. Still working on that one.Have a big house that I can open up to needy teensGo skydivingRead through the whole Bible once a year for the rest of my life---Can't blame anyone but myself for this one. I've read through it about 3 times, but it's been about 2 years since I last did it.Finish writing my "story"---Not only that, but I've written a novel, and I'm planning to do another one this November.Direct a world famous youth drama troupe---Getting there...Travel in Europe---England and Scotland, so far. Hopefully I'll hit some more of it in summer 2004.Finally get a decent long-distance phone plan---Well, that one happened as soon as I moved out of my mom and dad's house...Go on a missions trip to AfricaGo scuba divingHave people remeber me as a godly woman when I dieLive to be 100Remember what forgiveness and unforgiveness feel like and never forget---I try. Some days are easier than others; some feelings are easier to remember than others.Be a youth pastorLive somewhere with lots of sunGet a piano of my own when I move away---I keep saying that this'll happen, but I have a feeling that it won't be until I get into a house.Visit RussiaSee the town in Sweden that my great-grandma Alida came from---Maybe next summer... it's getting closer!Remember to enjoy the simple things like sitting outside and watching the stars---I don't think that this is the kind of thing you can ever completely achieve--it's a constant processGo to Niagara fallsLearn to be more patient and wait on God---Again, is it ever really achieved?Publish my own book of writing--poems, thoughts, essays, whatever---Working on it. Hopefully I'll be able to publish last year's novel.Stay in touch with Ms Hawk, even after I graduate---And Mrs. Hune, and Ms. Harris. Not a bad track record, hey?Be a prayer warrior and intercessorTeach my drama classes without totally messing them up---Yep. Managed that one. Even had some kids that kept returning.Move out and still manage to keep in touch with my close friends---Not as close as I thought I would, but I'm still in touch with some of them.Meet RoMeet Jen---We've managed visits three years in a row!Go to New York City---Absolutely. And I can't wait to go back.Go shopping on Rodeo DriveLearn to get along better with my family, especially my parents---Well, I don't always want to disassociate myself completely from them anymore... Still glad I don't live there anymore, though.Work in a church that focuses on outreach and bringing people to Jesus---I've worked in my church for 4 years, and that's a pretty big priority there...Finish Physics 30 with a 90% and prove to everyone that I can---How about an 80%?Beat Matt and be valedictorian---He beat me by 2%. But that's okay. He's still my friend.Go to GreeceSmile more oftenRecord even one song professionallyWrite a good songGet my grade 10 piano---I don't have the certificate, because I don't have all the theory, history, and harmony, but I've got the practical exam finished...Take voice lessons---Does "Speech and Voice" count? I don't think I thought I'd take three years of phonetics when I wrote that list...Go white water raftingGo to AustraliaSee castle ruins in Scotland---Absolutely. Edinburgh Castle. It wasn't exactly ruins, but it was an old castle. That has to count for something...Have kids---Heh. Not yet.Have the patience and the reliance on God to work through and fix broken relationshipsGet into better shape---Again, one of those ever-elusive goals...Find fabric for and then have my mom make an amazing grad dress---Complete with a label on the inside that says, "Made with love by Mommy.Wear my grad dress to church the Sunday after, just for fun---That was a fun Sunday. All the grads dressed up, and we all went out for lunch afterwards in all our grad finery.Act in "The Diary of Anne Frank"---Not yet, but maybe one of these days I'll direct itWrite another full-length playFind a perfume that's really "me"---Finally... after years of looking, I found "White Ginger and Amber" from Bath and Body WorksHave a rocking chair on my front porch for when I'm really, really old and I can sit and watch my great grandkids playNever give up on life and keep going as long as I possibly canNever forget to playGo to the Grand CanyonRemember that it's not about me, no matter how much I wish it were---Heh. Don't we all wish that?Learn to serve like Jesus servedVisit the Holy LandSwim in the Dead SeaGo spelunkingWhen I have kids, look at life through their eyes---Or just look at the world through the eyes of kids?And that was my list at age 17. That took a lot of formatting to make look good. It's about time for bed. Laurel and I leave for Fort Macleod tomorrow morning, and I want to get a good sleep before we have to go.
But it's amazing how many things I've done that I forgot were even on my list. I guess I've done more with my life than I thought I have. Maybe not all of the huge things, but even more of those than I thought.
infinite || abyss
posted at 12:01 a.m.
