Tues, May 6
... Hear me roar
We were having a discussion today about the movie
Days of Wine and Roses in my on-camera class, and somehow, it turned into a discussion about the objectification of women in media.
Cindy was talking about the fact that women's roles have changed, but there's still an element of sex symbol, no matter how powerful and successful a woman in a film is. The argument came up that no matter how far we evolve, there's an element that's constant, and a view of women that just doesn't change.
I don't know about anyone else, but to me, that implies something more inherent and deeply rooted than cultural traditions. Yes, making women into sex symbols is wrong. Holding us to an impossible physical standard is wrong. Showing women being treated with disrespect is wrong.
But isn't there something basic about the roles that women and men naturally take in society? For all of feminism's efforts, and for all of the ways that society has changed, there are some things that have remained constant throughout thousands of years of civilization.
Please don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that women are inferior to men. I'm not saying that we can't do the same things that men can do, or even that we shouldn't. I think that women are fully capable, and that there are many cases where women have taken roles that they may not have "naturally" have fallen into in the traditional scheme of things, and they have been just as competent--if not moreso--than a man would have been.
I think, though, that there's something to be said for the fact that women are often portrayed in the media in more nurturing roles--they're the ones who chase after the dream of a relationship, they're the ones who are focused on being loved, they're the ones who become more vulnerable. It's not necessarily because women are weak, or because men are writing the screenplays and are placing their ideal woman in the story. It's because that's the way it is in real life. Women and men are different, and we live like that. The media portrays that. It's a fact, no matterhow hard we try to change it.
These are differences that have been there for thousands of years. There is something inherently different between women and men. We are not the same. Biologically, emotionally, relationally, physically, psychologically, we are different. We need different things. We want different things. We react to different things. We are affected--hurt, overjoyed, distressed, turned on, comforted--by different things. Why is that wrong? Why does that breed the assumption that women are weaker than men? Why can't we understand and accept the fact that we don't have to be the same?!
Why has feminism and the fight for women's rights taken away our femininity? We as women in society have become so focused with being equal to men in every way that we've forgotten that there are ways in which we're not the same, and we've ceased to celebrate those. We don't realize that we were made differently from men for a reason, and we shouldn't try to run from that.
No, we're not sex objects. We are not servants. We are not "pieces of meat for some man to gnaw on." We are not inferior to men. But we are different. We weren't meant to do exactly the same things. Why do we feel like we have to continue to strive for that? Is the goal really all that great?
One year ago today: It sets a precedent. I don't want to be lured away from the greatest heart's cry and love that I could ever imagine. If that becomes--or continues to be--my pattern, what happens to those who love me so much less? To those whose love does not reach so far, to those I love so incompletely, and who love me back with an equally incompetent ardour? If I can't remain faithful to the truest love who has always been and always will be faithful to me, how will I stay faithful to those who can't? How will I love them back?
infinite || abyss
posted at 10:09 p.m.
