Tues, Aug. 24
... I want to know right now what will it be
So. I'm in Ontario! I got here this morning, although it doesn't really feel like it's been only one day.
I love seeing old friends--it's been so good to hang out with Jen and Mike all day, just catching up and getting up to speed on all the wedding plans and stuff.
It's funny how someplace that's totally not a home can feel like one. On Sunday, my family went to Quiznos for lunch, and I just waltzed in like I owned the place--went into the kitchen in my nice clothes and heels, got my own cup for my drink, and just generally was all over.
I dunno. I know I need a job with benefits, better pay, and good hours, but I really do enjoy working at Quiznos. I like the people I work with, and I like the atmosphere there, most of the time. I like that we can have fun and goof off, and that Becky really cares about her employees and tries to make it a positive work environment.
Maybe I'm just rationalizing to myself because I don't like change all that much. This is my comfort zone, and it's always easier to stay in that than it is to move forward, no matter how healthy or positive a forward step might be. And then the change becomes the norm, and you can't imagine life without (or before) it.
It was an interesting night last night. Conversation, ride, and family initiation. Not necessarily in that order. Oy. Sometimes, I feel so stupid. It was unavoidable, though. At least, that's what I keep telling myself. It was the lesser of two evils. Jump the gun and speak out too soon, or fudge the truth and lie just a little--lying by omission more than by design. And I'm not going to do that again. I refuse to let this be characterized by lies at all. Ever. It's not going to be an option.
But lots of prayer and trying to discern a lot of wisdom is an option. At this point, it's the only option. We shall see. That's all we can do right now. And hope that Laurel just exudes "talk to me, I'm a good confidante" vibes!
Anyways... my internal clock still doesn't know what time it is or what time it's supposed to be, but I should get going and try to set it straight!
One year ago today: Exactly how many episodes of Trading Spaces does TLC play on a Sunday evening? I've had the TV on and off all afternoon and evening, and I've been flipping channels and stuff, and there have been Trading Spaces episodes on constantly since at least 3:00 this afternoon. With maybe one other show in there. That's at least 7 episodes. And I just checked--the one that's on now was already on once this evening.
infinite || abyss
posted at 8:11 p.m.
