Sat, Aug. 2
... The moments you leave me at heaven's door
I remember being in junior high and having a conversation with some friends about how you can take almost any worship song and make it sound dirty, if you have the right mindset. Now, obviously, that's a little bit of a stretch, and a bad mindset to have, but I was struck the other day by the similarities.
Almost any love song (about
love, not sex) can be listened to as a worship song, and almost any worship song can be interpreted as a love song. To me, it says something about what a marriage should be like. The kind of love that should be in a romantic relationship. And it says something about the kind of relationship I should have with God. The kind of intimacy that I should be looking for. There are so many aspects to God, and a relationship with him should reflect all of them.
There are so many songs that have always been worship songs for me, and I know that to some other people, they're love songs. And that's not bad. Ideally, it should be the same kind of love. That
agape love--unconditional love that God gives us and that we should give each other. The kind of love that defines a relationship and makes it one that people watch and realize is special.
and how can i
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this
you calm the storms
you give me rest
you hold me in your hands
you won't let me fall...
'cause you're all i want
you are all i need
you are everything
everything
That's one. "How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you..." That's a line that always makes me thing, again. How can I spend time in God's presence--really spend that time--and not be moved? How can I not be affected if I really see God the way he is?
I'm finding my way back to sanity again
Though I don't really know what
I'm going to do when I get there
Take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back to the arms of Grace
I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be
I'm looking past the shadows
Of my mind into the truth and
I'm trying to identify
The voices in my head
God which one's you?
Let me feel one more time
What it feels like to feel
And break these calluses off me
One more time
(
Lifehouse)
ISn't that always my prayer? What's it like to feel again? Just let me hear you breathe, God. Just let me know that your presence is here. Let me hear something, even if there's nothing to say. Even if you don't say anything big that will change my life. Just let me be there. Just let me hear you... let me fall back into grace, over and over and over again.
And when I get married... when I find that guy... I want that kind of romance and passion in my relationship with him. I want it to reflect my relationship with God, and I want the songs to be able to describe both. Not that I want to worship my relationship with a guy, but I want to be able to experience the same love in both. Different degrees, different intensities, but the same idea.
One year ago today: But whatever. I'm not going to complain about that any more. Today was just one of those days that seems to stretch on f-o-r-e-v-e-r. By 3:00, it felt like it should have been closer to 6:30, and by the time I got home from work at around 6, it felt like late evening already. I think it's just because it's so grey and gloomy outside. That just makes everything groggy and lethargic. Fridays at the office in the summer are hilarious, because no one's there. Everyone takes Mondays off, of course--they're a pastor's weekend. But during July especially, half of them take Fridays off, too, so it's just dead around there. But meh, it's still fun.
infinite ||
abyss
posted at 7:16 p.m.
