Sun, Dec. 15
... Waiting in the dark
*sigh* And you know your fingers aren't working properly when you just typed that as "
*saigh&*" Oy. It's been a day. But that's the thing. It's been a quite pathetically uneventful day.
I think I understand a little bit why the lonely, bitter people that children are afraid of become that way. You know, the ones whose houses become infamous in nice, suburban neighborhoods. Kids dare each other to run through the yard, pranks are played on Halloween, and it becomes the neighborhood eyesore.
It's a sad life, but in some ways, I can see how it's preferable to living a normal life. Yeah, it's lonely and sad, but at least when you're living with TV and books, you can convince yourself that those aren't real people.
After a loss, it's hard to live. It seems like everyone's rubbing it in your face--everywhere you look, there are people flaunting what you don't have. So, you withdraw into yourself more and more. It's lonely, yes, but self-inflicted loneliness is better than having it forced on you by the happiness of everyone around you, or so it seems. Eventually, you build your own little world, and you forget how to let anyone in--not that you'd want to, though. Maybe it's a selfish way to live, but it's so much easier.
I'm not planning to live like that, but I can understand why people do.
Tonight's one of those nights when you just want to rent a bunch of girly movies, get some chocolate, sugar, salt, and any other PMS-y food that you can think of, and sit in front of the TV. Unfortunately, our VCR is broken, so my options are narrowed down to the made-for-TV Nancy Drew movie. She's gotten stupider since the books. Back then, she was at least smart. Here, she's just... not. And what happened to Ned? They were supposed to be together forever, but he's not even in the movie! I guess that's what happens when Nancy Drew goes away to college.
*sigh*
I'm going to go try to find a life now.
One year ago today: I can't get away from that song!!! "You're A Mean One, Mr Grinch." Last night, at my brother's concert, one of the younger choirs sang it, and then today, I was working during a piano recital, and one of the kids played it! Last night, I heard the accompaniament that we used for the show, and I could see the choreography in my head... I could see Dave and Josh dancing, and I started doing my choreography to it... it was rather interesting!
infinite || abyss
posted at 9:08 p.m.
