Wed, Oct 3
... Fun rehearsal quotes from Charlie Brown
So here we go with the quotes from rehearsals for "How the Grinch Stole Charlie Brown's Christmas"! More to come as more are said; these are in no particular order, but I'll list the people at rehearsals, just so you know who says what and why it's funny. :o)
Cindy--Director
Shannon--Assistant Director
Jen--Stage Manager
Dave B--Assistant Stage Manager
Dave V--Narrator
Josh--Grinch
Mitch--Charlie Brown
Janel--Lucy
Jordan--Snoopy
Trevor--Linus
Janna--Sally
Laurel--Violet
Chelsea--Frieda
Alida--Patty
"I feel like an Oopma Loompa!"--Dave V
You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch, you really are a... OWOWOWOWOWOW!"--Dave V
"Did you pull your crotch?" "No, it's my upper groinal area; a little higher than my crotch, but not quite my groin."--Shannon and Dave V
"Can I hold Trevor's blanket? I don't want to hold his hand."--Mitch
"Snoopy, you're a boy!"--Cindy
(seductively) "I've been looking for you, big brother!"--Janna
"You just be a grinch."--Cindy
"Pop guns and bicycles... no line, I know it... roller skates, drums... uh... uh... Checkerboards... Rice cakes? No, tricycles!"--Dave V
(telling the Peanuts gang to be scared of Josh) "Oh my gosh it's a big scary monster!"--Shannon
(to Dave V) "Be on time, or I'll kick you in the groin. And we don't need any more trouble with that."--Shannon
(referring to Josh's Grinch voice) I was like, 'Thanks, pedophile Grinch!'"--Shannon
"Yah, that's how I felt when I was onstage. I was wondering if he was going to grope me."--Janel
"Work it, baby! Look at those teeth! Ow ow!! Can I get some fries with that shake?!"--The rest of the cast to Josh doing his Grinch "working it" onstage
"This is when rehearsals get fun--when the director starts down the path to insanity!"--Cindy
"Pita, bend your knees. Show off your butt--we're looking at it, and it's a cute butt!"--Shannon
(telling Trevor what to use as a rehearsal prop for his blanket) "Trevor, you have a woman's dress attached to you at all times."--Cindy
"So basically, what I learned today is that I carry a dress and sing women's parts"--Trevor
(to Jordan) "Maul nicely. Last time, you hurt me."--Janel
"Girls, be responsible for your own shorts. I don't want to buy you underwear."--Chris (costume "mistress")
"I'm seductive and weird." "Yeah, every guy's dream!"--Janel and Dave B.
(in a loud stage whisper to Jordan) "Kiss me!"--Janel
"Here I am, bringing reality into cartoon acting."--Cindy
"We'll start the slowing down process now." (Dave B. laughs) "You be quiet, Rhythm!!"--Cindy, Dave, and Janna
"Can you be meaner?!" "No!"--Cindy and Mitch
"David, your wife is cheating on you with a pink stuffed dinosaur!" "Oh, that's okay." --Shannon and Dave V.
"That was a nice fade. I really appreciated that fade."--Shannon
"That line, 'Gee, do they still make wooden Christmas trees?' is supposed to be funny. Ha ha. Trees aren't made. They're grown."--Shannon
"Is that the tree? No, that's the doghouse!"--Janel
"I drink Pepsi, how about you;
If you don't, you're a hunk of poo!"--Dave V.
"Go away, Dave!" "I'm practicing being the cute narrator!"--Cindy and Dave V.
"Cindy leaves, and I become Satan!"--Shannon
(trying to decipher her notes after a runthough) "Charlie Brown... longer... louder... on the chuda? Longuh on the chudah? Harder on the clutch? Oh, never mind, it's not important!"--Cindy
"Are you excited to try this play a new fun way?"--Shannon "On acid?!"--Janel "Yeah, we have something to give you!"--Shannon
"Wait to go until the count of 8 has been fulfilled!"--Jen
(referring to Cindy and Shannon, the oh-so-professional directors)"They're pointing and laughing at me!"--Mitch
"I'm telling the gospel... I'm getting drunk!"--Cindy
"It's a story about me. I tell it all the time, because it's so good!"--Dave V.
"Use your body, Josh!" "Yeah, it's your best asset!"--Shannon and Dave B.
"Can you please look like you're in a happy jolly Christmas mood?"--Shannon
"I was thinking birth, but then I was like, yah, I don't want to push myself through someone's birth canal."--Chelsea
"Are we so cute we're close to sexy?" "Yah, you're sexy five year olds! That's creepy"--Jordan and Shannon
"They're not big, they're little! That's what makes them penguins! They have bums with feet!"--Shannon
(holding out black spray-painted hands) "This is how much I care for you girls!"--Dave B.
"Can we call Dave, 'Rainbow Brite'?" "Can we call him 'Antonio the gay guy'?"--Janel and Janna
"Look at Sally's hair... I thought it kinda looked like snot!"--Shannon
"She's my girl. Go get your own sandwich!"--Chelsea
"This is a mennonite production!"--Mitch
"Mitch, take your bottom lip, put it over your head, and swallow!" "Take your bottom lip, put it over your head, and swallow? That's funny! Somebody say that to me!"--Janel and Dave V
(putting on his makeup) "You do this every morning? I thought it was a once a week thing!"--Trevor
(in a deep discussion about Britney Spears) "Like she's a nasty ho!" "Like if I had any respect for her, which I didn't, it's all out the window now."--Dave V and Trevor
(out of nowhere) "I'm not mocking you!"--Mitch
"Holy spit!"--Janel
(mocking out Britney Spears' "Slave For You" music video) "It's about God. They're drunk in the Spirit. They're laying on hands... they're healing her!"--Dave V
"New play title: 'How the Grinch Got Charlie Brown High'!" "That's a one-act play festival play, not a Bible college Christmas play!"--Janel and Dave V
"Laurel, let me play with your boobies for a while!"--Leah (costume dresser)
"Let's not use that quote, 'Laurel, let me play with your boobies for a while,' okay? No. That's not fun."--Laurel
"I was stripping right here in the student lounge!" "Oh, I was wondering why we were looking at the cafeteria."--Laurel and Jordan
"Laurel, it's good, but don't flash everyone!"--Shannon
"These quotes make me look like such a skank!"--Laurel
"Oh no! What happened to Snoopy? We're gonna have to put him down!"--Charles (head of backstage crew)
"I have issues with crotches."--Leah
"Josh, nice leotards!! I bet you had fun putting those on." *nervous laughter from Josh*--Laurel and Josh
"They did your mic check when you were in the bathroom." "So they heard Leah say, 'You've got a cute butt'?"--Dave B and Janel
"Where was Alida during the show? Oh wait, she's the one all in brown."--Dave V
"Did you get the one about the pants? 'I've got my hands down your pants'?"--Chelsea
"Hey, does anyone want to pick Snoopy's nose? Because you can!"--Jordan
"I can go about 5 times as loud, too. I just about blow out my ear drums when I do it in the shower!"--Josh
"Snoopy has lines!"--Jordan
"'You're going to die, Grinchy! Mwahahahahaha!!!!!' That would be funny!"--Sharla (tech director)
"When you throw the tinsel, they go 'huh-chuh.' When you only throw a few, they go, 'La la la la la la la la la,' and they catch the light and sparkle. It only takes one to make lots of sparkles!"--Shannon
(to Jordan) "Otherwise, you look like a guy in a Snoopy costume. Also, don't say, 'Hey, how you doing?' when you walk out for the sleighing song."--Cindy
"Who says, 'That's a good idea!'?" "I do! Oh wait, I don't!"--Cindy and Jordan
"I'm just a dumb-arse."--Ryan (light technician)
"It was horrid. There's no other word to describe it except 'horrid.'"--Sharla
"Act cold. Brrr... brrr... chilly. So what are you going to do when you're outside?" "Brrr... brrr... chilly!"--Shannon and cast
"The ribbons! Our words! Both at the same time? Oh no!"--Dave V
"When you shook the box, I just about crapped my pants!"--Shannon
"Linus' mic changed frequencies overnight!"--Jade (sound tech)
"It was good--there was no crotch-flashing tonight!"--Shannon
(after Cindy told Jordan to slurp, and everyone started making slurping noises) "This is theatre. We all have to try to see if we can do it."--Laurel
"And if you're not sure what that means, think about what it means to look
unenergetic, and then do the opposite!"--Shannon
"Snoopy's naked, but dogs don't have penises that hang down."--Shannon
"It's like, look down during class and there's your right breast, waving hi!"--Laurel
"I'm going to get sprayed!" "You're going to get neutered?!"--Janel and Shannon
"I was losing my pants in that dance!" "The Grinch is a streaker! That's 'The Grinch, Part Two'!"--Josh and Dave V
"I'm the happiest I've been in all my life!"--Micah (stage hand)
"That's not singing, that's a cat dying!"--Chelsea
"There are so many flashers in this show!"--Dave V
"What's wrong with us, Alida? We just can't keep out skirts down!"--Laurel
"Josh? You're a girl?" "You didn't know?!"--Janna and Josh
"What were you doing when you came up the stairs?" "It sounded like you were having a cow... like, literally giving birth!"--Janna and Laurel
(said in a Russian diva accent) "When you come with me tonight, you get couch." "You too?" "Yes. But you get uncomfortable side. No pleasure for you!"--Janel/Chris/Janel
"You can
tell when I'm wearing mascara. I look like a French hooker!"--Mitch
"You're a Grinch! Not a supermodel!"--Shannon
"It's a performance! Are you excited?" "Performance?! I thought it was a dress rehearsal!"--Dave V and Mitch
"Little kids! Hide!"--Dave V
"There's no room to dance back here." "Oh, so we have to grind?"--Jen and Dave B
"What do you do when you gotta get some?" "Well, I wouldn't do it with Dave..."--Sharla and Jen
(to Janel) "I put my mark on you!"--Jordan
"I should have been a lesbian!"--Chelsea
"Hi, I'm in the dark alone! Does anyone want to join me?"--Janel
"You've got a wet spot on your pants. Frieda peed her pa-ants!"--Dave V
"You mean you hvaen't seen him in a muscle shirt? Oh, wait, neither have I!"--Trevor
"The dye won't wash off my scalp!"--Laurel
"What? His sister's his girlfriend? That's not cool!"--Jordan
"Are you writing quotes about me? Stop writing about me!"--Mitch
"I'm so constipated! Help me!"--Chelsea
"I, I just died in your arms tonight, must have been something you said" "I'm a slave for you!"--the boys and the girls
"I get stage fright in bathrooms!"--Janel
"I crack myself up!"--Dave V
"No! Stop peeing!"--Dave B
"You keep hitting my butt!" "At least it's you, not me." "At least I'm not slapping it!"--Janel, Mitch, and Dave V
"Why did you laugh?" "Because I have to fart!"--Janel and Dave V
"Man who stands on toilet has lots to do with himself."--Janel
"You're great. Just like ice cream, but not as cold."--Jordan
"God, make our throats clear, make our hearts open, make our energy high; all to Your glory. Amen."--Chelsea (Amen, sister!)
Last updated with quotes from the Nov. 24 performance
And that's that.
Show's over, folks. :o(
And, by the way, if you're looking for more quotes, they're
here. Go check them out! :o)
infinite ||
abyss
posted at 9:04 p.m.
