Wed, Jan 30
... Yes, I am in theatre.
Softly poetic...
Give me one good reason why I should stay here. Why I shouldn't leave this place. Why I should remain and develop who I am, even when it feels like everyone else is against me. Because of today, that's why. Because I know that there are people out there who want the same things I do. Who struggle with the same things as me. Who know what it feels like to be longing for that elusive something that they can't quite reach; that they want to grasp and contain but that is so much wilder and larger than they are. Only in them do I feel that sense of kindred spirit. Only in these days do I feel that someone understands.
Don't you know that I need you to trust me? I need you to understand what I'm going through. I need your honest opinions... and I need you to support me and stand beside me. It makes me question myself and all I'm going after when you don't seem to care. When you don't seem to place value on it. Don't you see? I need you to understand. You, most of all.
These are the hours from which I come away refreshed. In which I realize again why I'm here, why I do what I do. In which I rediscover that there are, in fact, others who understand, who strive for the same things and know the frustrations, joys, failures, and heartaches of reaching for that elusive goal. Of trying to change the world. Of going out there and changing Christian theatre, one play at a time. A worthy goal? To some. To some, it is no better than heathenish dabblings in some demonic activity.
The inspiration... the struggle between ego and humility... the fact that we need to be the best at what we do. Not because we are great, but because God is great, and we do this in His name. God didn't create this world shoddily; why do we think we can only be half as creative as he's made us to be?
Theatre is a collection of displaced and awkward souls.
Ask the questions. Let the Holy Spirit give the answers. Our job is not to tie up every loose end and make every message crystal-clear with our interpretation of what God is trying to say. We are the channel. Artists are channels, onstage and off. Allow the Holy Spirit to work through us onstage to bring up the questions, and trust him to answer them in his own time, whether or not that directly involves us later on. Be willing. Be available. Be ready. But don't be pushy. God works in timing that we don't understand, and we're just along for the ride.
infinite || abyss
posted at 11:24 a.m.
