Wed, Dec. 25
... And what have you done?
Merry Christmas!
It's been a good day... Relaxing, enjoyable. We just had my immediate family today--my dad's side is coming tomorrow for a big dinner and big family Christmas and stuff like that.
It was cool--I spent this afternnon delivering presents. It's something I started last year; something I want to be a tradition when I get married and start a family... something I can do with my kids. I've started buying small gifts--candles, or little tins of chocolate, or whatever, and taking them to people who have to work at 7-11 or Mac's or wherever. It's gotta suck working on Christmas Day, especially something as "non-essential" as that--I mean, it's not a hospital or something that has to stay open... it's been fun, though. Some people give me odd looks, but most are so appreciative and thankful. It's not exactly helping the "less fortunate" at Christmas, but it's just something nice to do for people.
So... what did I get? A shirt, a few books, some bath stuff, headphones and a car adapter kit for my discman, and a nice hope chest type of things from my parents. It can be a coffee table, or at the end of my bed, or storage for whatever, or eventually, my mom said, a toy box, once I have kids. It'll go well in my new house, and then once I get into my apartment, it'll go really well in there.
Yeah, it's been a good day. A good season. I think that every year, the Christmas season becomes a little bit more bittersweet and a little bit more appreciated. As I get older, I discover more of the good and more of the bad about life, and it makes Christmas a little bit sweeter and a little bit harder. It's not the magical cure-all that it was when I was little, but it's still got some of the magic that just makes it beautiful, no matter what else is going on around.
And it's not over yet. Tomorrow, I'm going Boxing Day shopping with my dad for a while, and then I'm going to pick up Ruth and bring her back to a houseful of noisy relatives. We'll sit around, tease each other, and sic the little kids on each other, and we'll have fun watching the kids discover the magic of Christmas for the first time while we rediscover it for the second or third or fourth time. By the time we all go home, we'll be full, satisfied, and sated with music, food, and laughter. It'll be a good day.
And, you know, for as lonely as I've been this season, it wasn't that bad today. It was still there, of course, but I was able to shake it down and not pay all that much attention to it, just for a day.
One year ago today: You know, I love Christmas so much, but I think I love the buildup more than the actual day. It's not that I build myself up for something and then get disappointed when it's not what I expected, because that's not what happens at all... it's more like I expect more of the pre-Christmas rush than of Christmas itself. I really don't think it matters, as long as I don't lose focus of the real meaning in all the rush and bustle. Christmas Day itself is, for me, more of a relaxed day, more of the end product, enjoying the finished results.
infinite || abyss
posted at 10:24 p.m.
