Mon, May 20
... All out of my element
An addendum to the
last entry... Not only do we go through the same things in different contexts, but the decisions that we make are, at heart, so much the same. More and more, I realize that the big decisions I make with my life are made with the future in view.
I may, as a young, single woman, be able to take off on a moment's notice (when things are slow with production schedules and so on). I can decide to go to a movie without consulting the budget with someone else. I can head out to sev at one in the morning without worrying if I'm leaving a sleeping baby alone in the house. But those are the little decisions. They're the ones that I may take for granted, but they're not all that important in the long run.
The big ones, though, are made in the light of (or at least, I try to make them in light of) what kind of woman, wife, and mother I want to be. Those are the most important things to me, and I don't want to compromise or jeopardize that by the kind of decisions I make now.
The way I conduct myself at work, while it may not be the be-all and end-all of my future, is a learning and training ground for me in terms of work ethic and the relationships there. The decisions I make about my career now are designed to fit into my lifestyle in the future.
If I never get married, I'll adjust, but if I do, I want my choices now to support that. I want my company to be built around the values that will support my family, and allow me to keep them as my first priority.
I've started to see the value in making very deliberate choices now, so that I don't have to repair a damaged foundation when I'm older. The things I do with my life right now are the things that will make it much easier or more difficult later on, and I'd rather be wiser now and make it easier on myself throughout the years.
Anyways. Day off, and it's actually sunny! And, even better, tomorrow (which is another day off) is supposed to be in the high 20's to low 30's (low to mid 80's, farenheit)! Oh, so excited. What am I still doing inside? Well, let me tell you, I won't be here for much longer!
Mondays are becoming my sleep-in day. I think I've slept until at least noon for the past two Mondays in a row--of course, this week, it's because I was out until at least 2 every night for the past three. I'm not as young as I used to be, and three nights in a row isn't as easy to pull off as it used to be!
Totally worth it, though. Friday night, Kat and I went out and had our girls night out. Saturday night, Kat, Christian, and I went to BP's (just like old times) and then came back to my house to start to watch a movie. Didn't finish, and it was still almost 3 before they left. Last night, Blair, Craig, and I went to see Batman Begins after work, so I didn't get home until sometime after 1:00, and it was at least another hour before bed.
Like I said, though, it was all completely worth it, and lost sleep is a small price to pay for spending good quality time with friends I haven't seen in a while.
Anyways, I'm going to finish off these emails that need to be sent, and then get dressed and head out into the great outdoors that is Calgary.
infinite || abyss
posted at 1:36 p.m.
