Sat, Mar. 16
... Bowling for...
So it was weird. Definitely
not something I thought I'd be doing anytime, let alone any time soon! Kat, Christian, Barry, and I hung out tonight and went bowling, and it was odd, to say the least. Odd, but fun. And not nearly as awkward as anyone thought it would be.
I just have one question: Am I invisible or something? Did I suddenly disappear to everyone but myself?
Ness and Jesse are in town... we were upposed to go for supper with them tomorrow, but it looks like that won't work out now. I have very mixed feelings about that. I kinda want to meet Jesse, but in a way, I don't. In a way, I just want things to be like they were last summer, with the great times that the three of us had, and Jesse wasn't in the picture then. Meeting him makes it all seem more real and adds one more face to the list of names.
Don't get me wrong. I have absolutely nothing against him--I don't know him at all, so all I have to go on is Ness' word, and there's nothing that even suggests that he's a bad guy or anything. That's totally not it. It's just the whole thing. The whole relationship issue as a whole. It's not that I don't like Jesse, I just don't want anyone taking my friends away, and that's what feels like is happening.
But that's growing up. I could try to replay the whole "growing up" conversation from this afternoon, but that would just be too hard, and too much, "Then she said, then I said, then she said..." to be interesting. We just decided that it's not all it's cracked up to be in some ways. In some ways, totally; in others... not so much.
Ah well... it's all part of the deal. We don't get to pick and choose how fast we grow up, and when we do, there's nothing to do but deal with it and keep going, because what's time going to do? Stop? I think not.
infinite || abyss
posted at 12:16 a.m.
