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Alida: A 23-year-old Canadian exploring the infinite abyss that is New York City.

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recent posts

Uncle Richard, me, and James Earl Jones - Tuesday, Apr. 04, 2006
So beautiful when the boy smiles - Sunday, Apr. 02, 2006
One way or another - Sunday, Dec. 25, 2005
Way up high - Saturday, Dec. 10, 2005
Reason to start over new - Friday, Dec. 09, 2005

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2005: January February March April May June July August September
2004: January February March April May June July August September October November December
2003: January February March April May June July August September October November December
2002: January February March April May June July August September October November December
2001: May June July August September October November December

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Sigh. Pause. Reflect. Smile. Sigh.

"Edmonton" was great. We need more days like that, driving all over the city looking for strange things, being strange people, dreaming big dreams. You know the kind I mean. Just being dumb. "Losing" Laura in the mall... and then losing her for real... finishing the day bruised and battered, on all accounts... climbing fences� riding shopping carts... finding fun furniture stores... being kids again... And I�m going to spoil the day if I keep talking about it.

Laura leaves again tomorrow� Crazy how this vacation has gone. How fast it�s gone; how long it�s been. School starts on Monday. It�ll be good to go back, but I almost wish, in some ways, that I didn�t have to. Textbook shopping is on Saturday... that�ll be a reality check, a jolt back into the real world, and a cut to the wallet� :o(

I don�t know what else to say. I mean, there�s too much to say and not enough to say, and all the wrong people to say it to. I just want out for a while. I just want... well, you know what I want. It�s the same thing you want, and the same thing she wants. It�s the same thing that I swear is going to happen some day... some day... I�ll show up, and you�ll know exactly what I�m there for, and...

But in the meantime, I wait and wonder, and I live today the best I can. Not always the best I should, but learning to breathe, learning to lean on God a little more every day, the best I can, until then.

Sigh. Pause. Reflect. Smile a bitter smile and shed a sweet tear. Sigh.
infinite || abyss