Mon, Dec 31
... All human activity lies within the artist's scope
Happy New Year! For the first year since I was about in grade 9, I'm staying home and going to be in bed well before midnight. But it's not like it's anything special... it's not "The Big 2000," and I don't really have anywhere special to go, or anyone special to do something with, so I'll just stay home and attempt to recuperate from this silly cold before school starts. I really, really want some Vicks Vapo-Rub... I know it's kinda gross and smelly, but it would help me breathe a whole lot easier.
I just finished watching "A Knight's Tale" (yet again...), and I have to say that I love the quote at the end of the movie: "All human activity lies within the artist's scope." Just wanted to say that. :o)
So, our "pretend summer" is over now... Ness is back in Saskatoon, Christian's back in Calgary, everyone's back where they were before Christmas. Before Ness came home, Kat and I were talking about how it was going to be"just like summer" again; how we were going to get to hang out with Ness, how Christian wasn't going to be here, so it would be like summer again in a lot of ways.
It was so great to see Ness again... I missed her a lot... but it wasn't like summer. It's amazing how much we change; how much things change, even in the few months that she's been gone. I mean, we email and stuff, so we stay updated that way, but it's not the same. Kat and I don't notice it as much, because we're with each other all the time, so we see each other changing constantly, and it's not such a big deal, but with Ness, we don't get to see that as much, so it's more of a big thing. The other huge thing is that they both have boyfriends now, and I still don't... that makes it impossible for things to be the same way that they were.
Anyways... I suppose it's time for the obligatory "It's new year's eve and what have I done with my life?" reflection. It's ecertainly been an interesting year leading up to this New Year's Eve... Crazy, that's what it is. Absolutely, 100% crazy. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
This has definitely been one of the roughest years for me spiritually, and I'm still at a point where I'm not seeing all of the richness come out of that yet, but I think I'm getting there. I can still completely see God working, though, and I'm getting there.
Relationally... well... at least I didn't get engaged and then break it off this year! That's about all I can say in the guy department, though. Because it's definitely a toss-up between last year and this year as to which one has been more twisted and weird.
I've grown up a lot this year, though. I've changed in huge ways, and I'm happy about most of them. Not satisfied, and not ready to stop here and rest, because I'm not finished changing, but mostly happy with where they've taken me thus far. *sigh* Yet another huge step taken in the journey from child to adult. I think that this year has been the most significant year so far in that process. I could be wrong and may look back on this a year from now and laugh at myself, but I think that this year I've crossed from one to the other irreversibly.
My friendships--my really close friendships--are so different than they used to be. Not necessarily different people, although in some cases that's true; just we're different people, and our friendships can't be the same. Sometimes it all seems so surreal... I mean I look back on it all I can't believe it's happened the way it has. It seems sometimes like my life is just a story... a work of fiction that I'm reading about or watching. It doesn't seem like it's happening to me some days.
But it is, and it's a new year, and that doesn't really change anything besides the date that I write on my rent check... Life keeps going on, day to day to day, and things keep going one step at a time, and God keeps chasing me and loving me... and that's all I could ever want and more than I could ever dream to ask for.
infinite || abyss
posted at 8:41 p.m.
