Wed, Apr. 2
... We are still waiting
I can't believe it's opening night. This has been the rehearsal process that wouldn't end, and it's ended. Five shows, and that's it. Wow. Opening night already. So bizarre.
I was watching last night, during the second run, and it hit me, all of a sudden, that this was it. There's going to be an audience tonight. A sold-out audience.
It just hasn't sunk in yet. Opening night already. The thought seriously just boggles my mind.
But I think I'm ready. I've got as much done as I can at this point. I can't paint anything else, I can't make anything else. All I can do right now is just make sure everything (including me) is ready to go. My people, my props, my emergency kit for anything that breaks backstage. All the months of preparation have come down to these few nights, and they're going to be the best they can be.
So... here we go. Ready to break a leg... ready to go out there and make my piece the best.
One year ago today: Moving out of my parents's house, and even more since moving out of dorms, and having to deal with the day-to-day realities of buying groceries, paying rent, working enough hours, transporting myself from point A to point B, worrying about whether I'll be able to pay all my bills this month, taking responsibility for myself, and basically being completely independent of them in every way, except for part of my tuition, has made me grow up. Being engaged and having to make the decision to break it off because I knew it wasn't right made me grow up. It took me out past being a little kid, and into the realm of life-changing decisions. Maybe it's not a decision I "wanted," but when I had to deal with it, I was ready. Learning to be myself, all by myself, in a world full of couples has made me grow up. It's definitely not something I want, but it's something I'm given the strength to deal with.
infinite || abyss
posted at 3:04 p.m.
