Tues, Sept 11
... Let's talk about sex, baby
I�m going to attempt to post this entry, finally, after it�s been deleted from my psycho computer about three times� it�s just my little rant that I�ve been meaning to post for quite some time, but have just never gotten around to writing� and if this sounds like a Marilyn Elliott class lecture, well, that�s because I�ve refined my ideas a bit and adopted some of hers. Not all of them are from her, but she has influenced a good portion of them in some way or another.
The church as a whole is far too closed about sex. Ask any �good Christian church-going� teenager what they learned about sex in church, and I�ll bet that a majority of them will say that they were told not to �do it� before they got married, and that�s about it. When was the last time you saw an unmarried, pregnant teenager in your church? Can�t remember? Neither can I. They conveniently �disappear� until after the �problem� is �taken care of,� one way or another, and then they have to come back to the place that should be the most caring, rehabilitating, forgiving, and loving, and they have to face comments about the �sluts� who get themselves �knocked up� and endure the comments, even though not aimed directly at them, silently. People, this is not right! The church is an accepting, forgiving place for a myriad of other sins. We may not feel completely comfortable telling someone about our problem with lying, stealing, gambling, pride, envy, or any other of a long list, but we can at least still be honest about them. When it comes to sex, though, somehow we�ve decided in all out omniscience that it�s the unpardonable sin, so we never talk about it.
I�m not condoning sex outside of marriage. I firmly believe that it has huge consequences physically, emotionally, relationally, spiritually, and in just about every other way imaginable. But Christians are not immune to temptation. We have the same hormones, desires, peer pressure, and media influence as anyone does, and sometimes, yes, we slip. It�s not a mistake�I refuse to call a conscious choice a mistake�but it is a bad decision. A sin. Something that, perhaps, we regret afterwards and wish we could change, but something that God is more than willing to forgive us for! We aren�t willing to forgive and accept each other, though. And if there�s one thing I�ve learned over the past year, it�s that you can�t make a base judgment call without any basis for it. You can�t give everyone a blanket condemnation. Every situation is different, and while that never justifies sin, it can offer perspective and a reason for it. You can�t understand from one sentence.
If you were to go into any youth group, any College and Career aged group in a church, and ask outright who has struggled with sexual sins, or who has had sex outside of marriage, the outright answer would probably be a very low percent. Only those who are incredibly confident in their redemption will admit it; anyone still struggling with it will most likely be too ashamed to say anything. If you were able to take a completely honest poll, though, I believe that you�d find a much higher percentage than you thought struggles with it. Many of us have. It�s part of living in this world, and it always has been, but the church seems scared to acknowledge that. It�s like, if we admit that there�s a problem, we�ll lose face. No. We don�t lose face. We gain the respect of people who won�t come into a church full of hypocritical �perfect� people. We become a more real, honest, and God-focused body, the way he intended for it. We become a place where we can help people overcome their struggles, rather than a place where they become masters at hiding them. The pain that people feel over broken dreams and relationships, over guilt that�s eating them away, and over the feelings of worthlessness and helplessness are things that God has the answer for. The church is a place where people should be able to come to get those answers. And while we are getting better, we still have a long ways to go.
Please don�t get me wrong. I love the church, and I believe that God is doing great things in and through it. I so desperately need the community, accountability, teaching, service, and fellowship that I find in the church. We do reach out to hurting people and offer them hope and help. But I�m not for a minute deluded into thinking that we�re perfect. We are a body made up of broken, sinful people, ministering to broken, sinful people, in the power of an almighty, complete, whole, and perfect God. It�s time we realize that we don�t have to shy away from the sin that�s so intrinsically linked to being human. God�s not scared of it; why should we be?
infinite || abyss
posted at 2:23 p.m.
