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Alida: A 23-year-old Canadian exploring the infinite abyss that is New York City.

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recent posts

Uncle Richard, me, and James Earl Jones - Tuesday, Apr. 04, 2006
So beautiful when the boy smiles - Sunday, Apr. 02, 2006
One way or another - Sunday, Dec. 25, 2005
Way up high - Saturday, Dec. 10, 2005
Reason to start over new - Friday, Dec. 09, 2005

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2004: January February March April May June July August September October November December
2003: January February March April May June July August September October November December
2002: January February March April May June July August September October November December
2001: May June July August September October November December

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"Don't let what tempts you define you."

What a quote. That's so easy to do--it's so easy to let the stuff that I struggle with become what I fall back on as my identity. "How are you?" "Oh, not too bad; I'm struggling with (such and such), but it's getting better." There's so much more to who I am than that. Sure, there are the people who hold me accountable, and to them, I have to be honest, but in general, I'm so much more than what I struggle with.

Actually, it's easier to be vague with everyone. It garners sympathy or something from the people who don't know the whole story; it keeps the people who should know from getting too close to the real issues that I don't want to deal with. It's easier to give a few more specific details to the people who need them, but leave out the ones that put the wyhole picture together, and then to give a few, relatively insignificant details to the people who don't need to know.

Anyways, truth. It's a hard thing, sometimes. But I'm learning that the consequences of not being truthful can be even harder. I should have learned that years ago, hey, when I got spankings for lying about how many cookies I'd taken out of the cookie jar. But sometimes those lessons are hard come by, and my skull is thick. I'm learning. With a lot of bruised knees and scrapes, but I'm learning.
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