Mon, Nov. 3
... Wrote me off like I was through
I'm trying to get my paper done, really, I am! I'm trying to be responsible and stuff like that. It's just so much easier to goof off on the internet instead of writing. Or else, I wish I was writing my novel right now. I can feel my wordcount slipping further and further from my fingers with every minute.
There's a first-year in the computer lab with me, and we were talking about how there are only 5 weeks left before finals. She was saying that she's been slacking off, and now all these papers are catching up to her. *sigh* I remember those days.
The sad thing is, I haven't been slacking off. I've been working my butt off all semester (most of the time), and I'm still swamped and having to prioritize my assignments according to which ones are worth the most of a final grade.
I'm sure I could have been working harder, but the thing is, I'm working two jobs, taking a more-than-full courseload, acting in a show, directing in a show, stage managing a show, going to the gym regularly, trying to have a social life, and now throwing a novel into the mix. I'd say that to have the kinds of grades I'm maintaining this year, I'm doing well. They're not horrible. I'm pretty pleased with them, overall. I've missed a few assignments, but I'm trying to get all the big ones in on time.
So, yeah. I'm doing my best. Last year, I wasn't working nearly as hard, and I had a way smaller course-load, only one part-time job, and just as many shows.
Anyways. All that to say that I'm procrastinating on writing a paper right now, and as soon as that's finished, I can work on my novel. That's the most important thing at this point in time... Or something like that. It's pretty high up there.
One year ago today: I think that this month is going to be one big soul-searching time for me... it's exciting, and kind of scary, and hopefully very enlightening, all at the same time. I don't think it could have come at a better time, though. I'll be busy, most definitely, and it'll be a challenge to write some days, but I don't think I could be in a more prepared state or a more thirsty state spiritually. I keep coming back to "I'm excited," and I am, but I should think of some other way to say it.
infinite || abyss
posted at 6:53 p.m.
