Sat, Mar. 27
... Nothingness
Wow.
It's over.
I can't believe it.
Everything went according to plan. All the details that I was stressing about and worrying about don't matter any more. They all came together, and the showcase looked amazing. Or so I'm told. I couldn't really see it--I was too busy being in it. But it felt good. You know, that gut feeling that artists get about the show.
The powerpoint and dvd--which didn't work last night at the dress rehearsal--went off without a hitch, and they looked absolutely amazing. The Screwtape people didn't forget their lines. I didn't forget my lines. The scenes all ran smoothly... costume changes all ran smoothly. I had shoes on for every scene that I was supposed to have shoes on for (again, something that didn't happen last night). The scene changes all went well. My hair looked good, even though I didn't have any roommates to put it in curlers last night, and I had to do it myself (totally a pain in the butt. It's so much easier to have someone else do it for you). No extra furniture came out onstage when it wasn't supposed to. I didn't forget a verse of the song.
And seriously, I have more flowers than I've ever gotten before in my life! Counting the lilies from Laurel yesterday, I have six bouquets. A dozen red roses from my parents, a dozen yellow-ish roses from Becky (my boss), a bouquet from Helen and Ellen, a bouquet from Andria's parents, and a bouquet from my aunt and uncle. And I don't have any vases. Or if I do, they're all packed away at the farm. So, I took a huge canning pot, filled it with water, and put all the flowers in it. We'll see what the cats do to that!
Honestly, though, it went amazingly well, but I don't feel like it should be over yet. I think it'll sink in when I don't have to meet with Logan and Dria tomorrow to work on the dance; when I don't have the to-do list hanging over my head; when I have evenings with no rehearsals; when I'm not worried about remembering lines or choreography. Of course there's still a lot to take its place. Next week is all Hobbit. As a matter of fact, that's what I did from 8-5 today, before I even got to the showcase stuff.
I should be more tired than I am. I've been running on pure adrenaline all night.
Honestly, though, it was great. The glitches weren't big enough to matter. There were a few, but what show doesn't have them? It never goes off completely without a hitch--there's always something that goes a little bit awry. That's what gives it character. I'm sure there are places where I'll cringe where I see the video, but that's always the way it goes. We're all our own worst critics.
I want to do it again. It feels so wrong to do a show once, especially one with so much work that went into it. That's the thing about theatre--we live in the moment, but we relive the same moments over and over and over again. It just feels weird to know that this is it, and this is really it. One step closer to being finished at Rocky.
Oy. I should get some sleep. I can sleep in tomorrow morning! What a concept!
But it's over.
I almost want to cry.
One year ago today: And then we get into, which prayers did I want him to answer? It's strange. And are these prayers that I'm praying now the right ones? Because there have been numerous times throughout my life when I've prayed or wished for something, and when it didn't happen, I realized that it was for the best. Of course, being the slightly stupid human being that I am, I immediately thought that my current train of thought was the best. Until it changed.
infinite || abyss
posted at 12:44 a.m.
