Sat, Jan. 15
... Let this blest assurance control
Ho. Lee. Crap.
Just when you think things can't get any worse...
And, for another cliche, when it rains, it pours.
Wow. It's been quite the two days. The day from hell, I might be tempted to label it, if I was the kind of girl who used such strong language.
Blair and Becky have been lifesavers today. Seriously. I think that I would have gone off the deep end if it wasn't for them.
It's amazing how something as simple as being distracted and tired can wreak such havoc on the rest of life. And it's funny how these unrelated stupid things--the freaking cold weather, and being tired--can work together to make it all seem like the world is out to get me.
You know? First the car won't start. Then I have to take the bus. Then I manage to leave my purse on the bus when I get off after a very long day. And that just makes life more fun than ever--now there are all kinds of things like reapplying for lost cards and lost property departments of Calgary transit to deal with.
And then I hear someone else's bad news, and mine seems so incredibly selfish and temporary. And yet, I'm so upset by their bad news that it makes my day even worse, and it's not even my crisis to be devastated over.
It affects me, though. My purse is gone; my biggest advocate is gone. It won't kill me--it won't kill anyone--but it will affect a lot of people, and I am one of those absolutely blessed people who is affected.
And it does make me blessed that this hits close enough to home to make me cry--that's a good thing. Because it means that I've been touched enough by this person that all this isn't some random, theoretical event.
I'm not making sense. My brain turned off about 4 hours ago, as I told Blair, when I couldn't remember how many streets it was until my corner. Yeah. That's what kind of day it's been.
He offered me Tylenol 3, with codeine--told me it would absolutely make me fall asleep, which is probably what I need most right now, but I graciously declined. I do have to be at church at 8 tomorrow morning--better not tempt fate, or we'll find out exactly how much more can go wrong.
Oh, and another random thought that crossed my sanity-deprived mind today?
Maybe all this is just one big practical joke--God's way of reminding me that my version of being "needy" and his version are two very different things, and I really am that needy after all.
Maybe?
Maybe someone else will see the connection, too.
infinite || abyss
posted at 7:59 p.m.
