Mon, Mar. 31
... The remedy is the experience
Well, I thought I had to be at the theatre at 10 this morning, but as it turns out, the schedule got changed, so I have an extra couple of hours before I have to be there, giving me time to write an entry. I can't promise that it'll be much of an entry, but I'll write it anyways.
It's strange to think that the end of the semester is only 2 weeks (give or take) away. I haven't really been focusing that far ahead at all. It's all either been focused on this weekend, or else it's been focused ahead of that to Jen's visit, a summer job, and a place to live. These next two or three weeks have sort of faded into oblivion. There are things I have to do, papers to write, finals to take, but I haven't thought about those at all. It just seems like everything is over once Joseph is over, and then it starts up again in May.
It's always strange when a show finishes... I think this one's going to be different than any. In some ways, it'll be such a void, because there have been 4 rehearsals a week, down to none. That's a pretty big scheduling change... but it's also been a really big hassle, so it'll be good to not have to worry about that. I don't know. I have mixed feelings, as always. Is that any different than usual? Not really.
I'm looking forward to tomorrow's dress rehearsal, though, because I'll get to watch at least one run with props, costumes, lights... the whole deal. There are a few parts I have to be backstage for, but that'll be my last chance to be running back and forth. Once it opens, I'm stuck backstage for the whole thing. I'm going to try to get some good pictures tomorrow, though. I'd really like some good ones of this show.
Anyways, I'm frittering away my few hours of "free" time here, and I shouldn't be doing that... I have errands to run, places to be, and things to pick up before I head to the theatre.
One year ago today: I look at girls I know, myself included, who have found out that guys close to them--brothers, boyfriends, friends, whatever--are using porn, and I see how devastated we are. I see how much we hurt for the guys in our lives that we love. I see how hurt we feel. I see how we hurt for that something that's lost in our relationship with them. I see how we long for that to be there again. I see how we can't trust them anymore. I see how we feel degraded, inhuman, and objectified, and I wonder what makes it worth all that.
infinite || abyss
posted at 10:14 a.m.
