Wed, May 5
... Something sweet and almost kind
This week is going to kill me. It's only Wednesday, and I'm already barely staying awake during class. Forget the next two days. I have a show going up on Friday, shifts almost every day, and 7 hours of class per day. I have papers to write from both this week and last week, and I just want to be finished. I don't want to write 2 more book reviews and 2 more papers. Yeah, the subject matter is interesting, but I'm just almost beyond the point of caring.
I've been ready to be done for a long time, but it seems like every time I get close to the end, something else comes up that pushes that goal a little further out of reach.
But on May 27, I will leave the country for 6 weeks, and at that point, I will be done. I leave, and that's it.
Why is it that I could push so hard through the past four months, and burn out in the last week?
In the past four months I have:
- Moved twice
- Finished my practicum, which got up to about 8 rehearsals a week during the last month of prep.
- Worked an average of 25 hours a week
- Accompanied/ASM-ed (ish) a major show, involving daily rehearsals that I was at for about a month.
- Taken 19 credit hours during the winter semester.
- Helped Logan move, and helped him rehearse for his audition.
- Teched a show.
- Rehearsed two other shows.
- Was an extra in a movie.
- Graduated
- Wrote upwards of 20 assignments in the space of about 3 weeks.
Why is it that I can fly through that, and remain relatively sane, and now, when all I have is 7 hours of school, 3 hours of work, and 2 hours of rehearsal every day, I can't manage to stay awake? I guess it's just that last "I so badly want to be finished, and my body so badly needs the break, and I just can't seem to get it."
Three more days. Four. Maybe. Until Monday. Then, it's just work.
But I put in Beauty and the Beast last night while I worked on homework. I love that movie. It's the greatest Disney movie ever. And maybe I'm just a little biased, because I've seen it live on Broadway.
One year ago today: I'm so self-conscious when I'm on camera. I mean, I think that I did a good job today, especially for the first time I've really been on camera, but I don't like my voice, and I think my face is too round, and I have zits because I'm PMS-ing, and my jaw does funny things when I talk, and and and... I have to get over my issues. Seriously. I mean, there's no one in that class that I don't trust, and everyone else has the same ideas about themselves. But still. It's going to be an interesting week, and I don't know who I'll ever let see those tapes.
infinite || abyss
posted at 12:45 p.m.
