Mon, Sept. 8
... Re-laugh my laughs, re-cry my tears
I don't know where the roll of film with my headshots is!! Ack! I'll have to run home and hope I can find it... if it's not there, it's at
Laura's house, and she's back at camp now, so hopefully it's in my room somewhere.
Had my first directing class today. Oh boy. Do I ever have a lot to say about the subject of directing, acting, leadership, busy schedules, and God's plan in fitting everything in.
I just... I keep seeing God's hand in all of it this year. It's going to be a crazy-busy year. Welcome to senior year. I'm excited, and at the end of the year, I'll have a lot of things that I will have accomplished and learned, but at the same time, I know I'll be ready for a break.
I've been having some dilemmas with my senior high drama kids lately. Well, not the kids themselves, but the program as a whole. See, the church has hired someone, part-time, to do drama. Which is incredibly exciting, but that means that part of his area will be senior high drama. Now, I'm still going to be a part of it, but I won't be the sole leader anymore. I won't be the one directing the program as a whole and making it all happen.
I've had to do a lot of soul-searching and praying about it, and I've had to really come to terms with my changing role in the ministry, and how that will look in the next year or two, and I'm coming to a lot of realizations about my place and God's place in it.
I'm seeing things now, as events are panning out, that this is all going to be okay. Even though it's not what I would have planned/anticipated, it's going to be alright.
I'm excited to work with Darren. The more people I work with, the better. The more exposure I can get to working with more actors, the better it will be for me as a person and as a professional. Whether or not I agree with their methods or agree with them, it's always a stretching experience.
I'm excited for my directing class, since it means that I'll get to direct something directly (heh) that I wouldn't get to this year, because things are changing in my ministry. It still gives me a chance to direct, and I'll have the opportunity to be involved and directing.
I'm excited for my showcase. Yet another option for me to do everything. Write, direct, act, produce... all in one event. And for both of those, I get to pick who I work with, and that'll be a good thing. I'm getting excited for the showcase. I'm getting more ideas, and the more I have, the better my vision for it gets. The more clearly I can see the finished product.
And it's all helping me develop as a leader. Change is a part of ministry, and I'm learning about myself through my reaction, and the way I want my reaction to be. I've watched people over the years, and there are some that have been incredibly gracious in change, and have influenced the way I want to react in a similar situation.
I'm not a perfect leader, and I can't be the perfect leader, but I can be as good as I can. I can keep learning, growing, and developing, and this year will definitely stretch me in a lot of those ways.
It'll be a lot of work, but I'm excited for it.
And I'm going to change my layout and update my cast page when I get the chance. Soon. I just have barely had time to sit down and get it all done lately. Soon, though. I'll put up something else and get everything around here cleaned up.
One year ago today: I love the power that words hold; I love the way that they can express so much and yet be so ineffective and insufficient so much of the time. It's funny how the people who are the most dedicated to words--the ones who know the language the best--are the ones who best understand its inadequacies and its shortcomings.
infinite || abyss
posted at 3:54 p.m.
