Thurs, Apr. 3
... The dreamer has to go!
Laurel was telling me about a conversation she had with someone (who shall remain nameless, although for their ignorance, they don't really deserve to be protected) last week, about being involved in a show technically. She was telling this person that she had been asked to help out backstage as a dresser (since we all know how reliable music people are when it comes to helping with theatre!). This person told her that she shouldn't do it, because backstage isn't worth it, because that's not where the glory and recognition are.
Excuse me?!?!?!
Without an entire production team, there would be no show to go up. Even the most "unimportant" parts--the techs (like stagehands and dressers) that only come in during the end of rehearsals and performances--make it happen. Without people like that, the show wouldn't be able to go up. Or, at least, it wouldn't be nearly as smooth. Especially in a production as big as Joseph.
Yes, there are actors onstage, and yes, they're the ones that get the recognition. They're the ones that are seen, but in many cases, there are people who do much more work than even the actors. For every production team, there's an incredibly dedicated core team of production heads. For this show alone, we have a director, an assistant director, a technical director, a musical director, a stage managers, two ASM's, heads of departments (like props, costumes, and lights), a producer... It takes all of them to make a production work, and they're the ones doing it because they want to, not because they're in it for the glory.
Besides, especially in Christian theatre, it shouldn't be about the glory. I know this isn't always the case, but it should be about doing it for God, not for other people. Even in non-Christian settings, where God isn't a part of the equation, it should be for the sake of the art. Because I have no choice but to do it, not because I want people to recognize me and praise me.
I've worked my butt off on Joseph, as have the rest of the core team. We've put in hours and hours of work to make it look good, and we don't get the recognition. That's not a complaint; that's a fact. We're not the ones whose faces will be recognized. We're not the ones whose work will be praised by anyone except the rest of our team and some of the actors.
Our work is the kind that's done so that it's not noticed. When I spend hours making sure everything is touched up and repaired, it's not so that someone will notice and say, "Oh, look at that! The bottom of the well is painted black, the beads are glued onto the fans properly, and the litter has been deep-cleaned." No one's going to notice that. They would, however, notice if the well was just bare wood, the fans were falling apart, and the litter was filthy every night. The behind-the-scenes work is there to be unnoticed. Which does mean, yes, that there's a lot less recognition of the amount of work that goes into the position. But I do it for the sake of the show, for the sake of the art, and for the sake of my God, and if that's my motivation, it doesn't matter as much.
And please don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that the actors haven't worked hard. They have. They've put hours and hours into this show in the past 7 months, and their work is paying off. They're seeing the fruits of their labor, and I hope they're proud of what they've done, because they've done a lot. They're doing a terrific job, and I can see how hard they have worked and are working.
But so have we, and it makes me furious to hear someone discredit all the hours that I've put into this. I'd like to see this person do the work that I've done, first of all. Then, I'd like to see them come watch a show without that work going into it, and I'd like to see how well they like it.
Having said all of that, I'm excited to act again. It's been a long time since I was in one of Rocky's major productions. All I've done for the past year and a half have been smaller skits, scenes, and one-act plays. It's about time to do something else. I can't wait to get back onstage again, because I need that kind of balance. I need to spend some time behind the scenes, and I need to spend some time onstage. It's what I love, and there's a part of me that has to do it.
One year ago today: I'm becoming more motivated, though. There are more reasons than ever before to be obedient. And yes, I know that's selfish. I know that there should only be one reason necessary to be obedient, but so often it doesn't work that way. It works far too often like I weigh the pluses and minuses of obeying God, and then when it finally gets desperate enough that it works to my advantage to obey, I do. That's totally the wrong attitude for it; that's not the way it should be, but...
infinite || abyss
posted at 1:50 p.m.
