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Alida: A 23-year-old Canadian exploring the infinite abyss that is New York City.

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I read... ---------- Jade Janna Jen and Mike John Kim Kristy Lara Laurel Lindsey Mia Morgan Robin Lee Shannon Trevor Vron

recent posts

Uncle Richard, me, and James Earl Jones - Tuesday, Apr. 04, 2006
So beautiful when the boy smiles - Sunday, Apr. 02, 2006
One way or another - Sunday, Dec. 25, 2005
Way up high - Saturday, Dec. 10, 2005
Reason to start over new - Friday, Dec. 09, 2005

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2005: January February March April May June July August September
2004: January February March April May June July August September October November December
2003: January February March April May June July August September October November December
2002: January February March April May June July August September October November December
2001: May June July August September October November December

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Diaryland
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Today just feels like one of those days. A day that seems to go on forever, and everything that was planned suddenly goes out the window. I'm tired now. State of my life, I think.

Sometimes, I hate talking. It seems so pointless some days; seems like it does no good, like all it does is go over the same ground over and over and over again. The same things that have been hashed out before, complained about, rejoiced over, talked about before, all being said yet again. But does it really make a difference? Not really. Not usually. Just words.

I know how Joanna feels today. Not exactly, obviously, but her entry sounds so incredibly familiar. I started reading, and that's exactly what I feel like! That's my life! In some ways, it makes me feel a tiny bit better to think that someone else feels the way I do, even if it's not for the exact same situation. In other ways, though, I feel like screaming. Is this going to be me in ten years? Is that going to be what I'm longing for then, and not getting? Sometimes, it feels like I'll be perpetually in a state of being left behind the crowd, standing in their dust.

"Has my whole life come to this: another missed opportunity?"

*sigh* Some days, I feel like such a failure. Can't I do anything right? Wait. Don't answer that. I don't want sympathy or platutides. It's just rhetorical.
infinite || abyss