Fri, June 22
... When you called my name
It's amazing how quickly we forget what our crises are. I was just thinking about how, when I first started working at the church 2 years ago, there was a big uncertainty as to whether I'd be able to keep my job, since they were hiring Sam on as a full-time junior high/jumpstart pastor. It's been 2 years, and I'm working more hours than ever. So much for losing my job, hey? :o) I hadn't thought of that in such a long time, I'd almost forgotten about it altogether
But it's those kinds of things that we forget so easily. We pray and beg God to intervene in the situation, and he does; he answers the prayer and we forget so quickly. Life goes on as if nothing had ever happened, and we forget that, once again, God saved our butts in a major big way. Yet when he "doesn't come through," or he doesn't answer the way we want or expect him to, we remember that forever. We use that to shape our definition, our perception, our love for God. Why can't we shape it in the same way with the good as we do with the bad?
I am so exhausted. Physically getting close to burnt out (again), emotionally drained, spiritually wiped... I really must be getting old. It takes me less and less time to get to this point. I used to be able to go for so much longer, but look at me now. And the summer's just beginning... I still have 7 weeks of this. 19 and I'm already a washed up has-been. But I'll keep going, because slowing down is the first sign of defeat, and I refuse to be defeated. Maybe God will just let me get sick enough to lie in bed for a month and regain some semblance of sanity, and then I'll be refreshed and ready to go again in the fall. That would be nice. Although I'd go crazy within two days. I always have to be doing something.
This is no longer making sense. It's 2:24 p.m., and I'm already so tired I can hardly think. It's Friday; I can jam out of work early and head home. Nap time for me! Woohoo! :o)
infinite || abyss
posted at 2:14 p.m.
