Wed, Aug. 21
... How much do you know?
How much is too much? There's always a line... always something that doesn't need to be said, no matter how true it may be, because it's just not appropriate or applicable. The trouble is always determining what's too far. It may or may not become trouble, but it's just unnecessary. Or not the right timing. Timing is everything.
There are people who don't know about this. It's not a huge secret; a lot of people from my "real life" know it's here, and read it. There's one in particular who doesn't, though. I don't know whether telling him about it would make things worse, or better, or if they'd just stay the same as they are. I know that at times, with certain people, this thing has caused more grief than it's alleviated. I don't think that this would be the same as other situations--I don't think that at all--but it does make me a little more wary. A little more cautious, especially in this situation.
If he read it, it would definitely fill in some of the blanks of the past year and a bit, anyways. It doesn't go all the way back, but it would certainly help. In some ways, I wish I had something like that for him. I guess if I wish that, it would make sense to give this to him, almost like a gift. I'm just not quite sure I'm ready for that yet. It opens a pretty big can of worms... not that there's a lot--if anything--in here that I'm ashamed of, but it just means that I can't keep anything a secret anymore. Or, more to the point, that I can't determine when he knows things. Not what he knows or doesn't, because he'll know it all anyways. I just have to be prepared for him to know it all.
He'll know. I'll tell him, he'll find this, and he'll read this entry eventually. I just don't know when that'll be. I have a feeling that it'll be sooner rather than later.
But whatever. Right now, it's not a big deal. I'm just staying up until I finish my soup and crackers, and I figured I'd spend the time writing an entry. I'm finished now, and I'm ready for bed, so that's it for tonight.
infinite || abyss
posted at 11:50 p.m.
