Wed, Mar. 3
... Take this broken wing and learn to fly
I'm finally starting to catch up on some assignments. Not totally, but getting there. I've gotten a few done in the past few days; now I just have to get the ones finished that needed to be handed in last week, so I can at least get some sort of a grade for them. Maybe not full marks, but something.
It's so hard to motivate myself to get the work done right now. The fact that I need to finish and pass all my classes to graduate should be motivation enough, but for some reason, it's not, and I'm not sure why. I think part of it's that there's just so much other stuff going on--work, class, rehearsals, showcase, etc, etc, etc--that by the time I get time to do homework, I'm too worn out from everything else that's been going on. By that time, I want to get to the gym, or go home and watch TV, or get some sleep, or whatever else, and homework falls to the bottom of my list.
I've updated my cast page a bit... just changed the descriptions for Janna, Jordan, Bubba, and Logan, now that we're not all living together anymore, and I added Andria. I figure I talk about her enough; you should know who it is. Nothing too exciting there... just a few house-cleaning changes. I need to fix my links page and make sure all the Spark diaries are in the right place.
My life is so... I don't know. It's not boring. It's not bad. It's not depressing. It's busy, but it's good. It's just overwhelming sometimes. People will ask what I'm doing with myself, and when I tell them, it startles even me. I don't realize that I'm doing so much until I set it all out and talk about it.
Logan and I were supposed to go see The Passion tonight after work, but it looks like we may not be able to, because he still hasn't unpacked anything. The guy who was living in his room didn't get his stuff out until last night or today, so Logan's stuff has just been sitting in the hallway, and he kinda wants to get it all set up. Not that I blame him. I'd be frustrated, too, if I didn't have my room for the first 3 days after I moved. Hopefully this weekend, though. Maybe Friday or Saturday. We'll have to see.
I'm really excited to see it... I've heard so much about it; seen interviews; read reviews; read articles; formed my own opinions, and I haven't even seen it yet! I should probably get on that if I really want to be making educated statements and opinions. Yeah. I mean, maybe we'll get to go tonight, but most likely not. I'm thinking probably Saturday will be best. But, we'll see.
I should get some lunch and head to class. A class for which I actually have an assignment finished! Everybody clap for me! Heh. I'm such a two-year-old. "Yay me! I did it by myself! Give me candy!"
Yeah, okay.
One year ago today: Because of this; that's why. Because I know that there are people out there who want the same things I do. Who truggle with the same things as me. Who know what it feels like to be longing for that elusive something that they can't quite reach; that they want to grasp and contain but that is so much wilder and larger than they are. Only in them do I feel that sense of kindred spirit. The struggle between being me and being God's, and learning to reconcile the two realities into one, is deeper than I can handle on my own, and in these days, I know I�m not alone. No matter how divided we may be, there are certain things that bind us, and things we have to learn from each other. We need to crave the understanding that each of us offers.
infinite || abyss
posted at 12:40 p.m.
