Wednesday, Sept. 07, 2005
... When I look into your eyes
Guess where I am? I'm at home! Well, my Brooklyn home. The point is, after almost a week of being here, I finally have an internet connection in the house. It's not on my computer yet--we don't have the wireless set up right now--but the internet and phone are finally connected. Of course, the only person online to talk to at home is my sister, since everyone is 2 hours behind, so it's only 7 p.m. there, and people are still finishing supper and enjoying their evening.
Anyways... I've got another entry saved on my computer, so hopefully I'll be able to post it later on this evening, or else tomorrow sometime.
Lourenzo starts school tomorrow! That's exciting. Half-days for tomorrow and Friday, and then to an almost-normal schedule next week, and then really normal the week after.
Oy. I'm missing the strangest things about home. And feeling guilty about the weirdest things. You know what I feel most guilty about? Work.
I know that no one could have predicted how things turned out, and that no one holds my decision to leave when I did against me--in fact, it was (to all appearances) the only time I could logically have left. It's just... when things don't go the way we all thought they would, it feels like I jumped ship. Like I deserted something, so close to the end.
And not only that, but I feel like I'm missing out on something. All those "days" that I was there for--I'm now really going to miss the last few. Not just somewhat, but fully. I was there for the pretend last few, but those turned into a trial run, and it kills me that I'm not there for the rest of it.
I know--too attached to a fast food place. But I would never have it any other way. You know what I mean, though?
Ah well... I can't do a single thing about it now, so I should stop worrying about it, right?
One year ago today: The coolest part of the night, however, came after the auditions, when Wanda, Mark Lewandowski (one of the other directors), and I went to BP's to discuss the show that Wanda and I are working on. I haven't read the script yet--I just got it tonight--so I just sat there and listened. Absorbed as much as I could. Got ideas for my processes for Word. And really, just sat and learned as much as I could.
infinite || abyss
posted at 8:52 p.m.
