Fri, Feb. 7
... You know that kings ain't stupid
Hmm. I finally started working on editing my novel. I haven't really touched it since I finished it two and a half months ago...
So, yesterday afternoon. It was interesting, to say the least. I wonder if that was enough to deal with what needed to be dealt with. There's been such a rift there, and it's been growing for three years. Everyone knew what was happening--I felt like yesterday was just a reiteration of what all of us knew, rather than solving anything. I don't know... I don't know if it can be solved; maybe it can't. Maybe it's not worth it--maybe we just have to deal with it for the next year and a half, and then things will be better after that.
It does make me sad, though. It's not what I had pictured. I always pictured life like the college brochures: smiling, happy, laughing friends, doing silly things together. I didn't picture my class getting cut in half right down the middle, and pitting one side against each other.
And we all know that it's only when the six of us get together. I can hang out with any of them individually, or even in smaller groups, and there's no problem. It's just when we all get together, and get in a setting that has anything to do with school, specifically.
I'm very skeptical that this will change things. I think that people have good intentions, for the most part, and I know that all of us are to blame for this. None of us is innocent; none of us has consistently put everyone else's agenda before our own and been completely unselfish. I don't think that any of us are inherently "bad," but I do think that there's something almost insurmountable about it.
I do agree, though: This is an attack. Regardless of what we think or feel, or what our side of the issue is, we have a responsibility, and we're shirking it by letting Satan get such an upper hand. We're letting it affect our ministry, and that's the most deadly thing that we could be doing right now.
I don't understand it. I don't know why there's such a conflict there. I've been in other groups that have had the same divisions, and it hasn't been the same type of problem (or a problem at all), but in this case, it really is.
I don't know... Maybe the best thing is to just lay low and let it be there. We've put up with it for this long; who's to say that we can't for another few months? It's not pleasant, but if we all ignore it, maybe it'll go away.
Yeah right. If we all ignore it, eventually it'll blow up. I don't think that yesterday was enough to diffuse the bomb. But watching it blow up would be one event that I would want to be a fly on the wall for. Not an active participant in.
One year ago today: And the pieces are coming together... :o) No rehearsal tonight, but that doesn't mean I haven't spent the day getting more of those almost last-minute behind-the-scenes details ready for opening night. It's going to be good. :o) I'm excited about it. And it'll be nice to have a break from rehearsal tonight. Kinda weird; I haven't had a Thursday night off in I don't know how long... but it'll be good. No rehearsal next Thursday either, but that's more depressing than anything! Ah well... Maybe Laura and I will do something together. Or maybe I'll sit at home and have a "pamper-me" night.
infinite || abyss
posted at 5:40 p.m.
