Sat, Mar. 6
... Hey pretty lady
Heh.
Laurel made a very good point today.
Logan and I were practicing our dance for my showcase. It's looking so good... I'm so excited for what it's going to look like with the costumes and everything like that...
Anyways, I'm trying to learn to let him lead, and I'm getting better, but there are still moments. Today, it was really funny--Logan had a mini-spaz (just a short one) when I was taking too much of the lead. The thing is, though, that when I learned ballroom dance in junior high, the boys didn't lead. The girls all had to learn to, because the boys just wouldn't. It's a nasty habit to get into, especially when you don't dance all that often in general (like me).
So now, I'm dancing with someone who knows what he's doing, and who knows how to lead, and I'm having issues letting him. It's not that I don't want to; it's just that it's a difficult habit to break.
Anyways, Laurel's like, "That's the way it is in life for women! We learn to take the initiative, because stupid men won't, and then we actually find a good one who is willing and capable of leading, and we don't know how to deal with it!"
I'm getting better, though. He's showing me what he means, rather than just saying, "Let me do it!", and that helps a lot. Being guided is a good thing. Especially in a case like this.
I went to Wal-Mart for a bulletin board today, and they didn't have one. I was not too impressed. Hrmph. I'll have to go to the other one. At least there are two that are pretty close to me. I'm so impatient. I decide that I want to start a project, and I want to start it now. Forget this waiting to get all the pieces... I want them, and I want them right away. When I want to have them, not when it's convenient to get them.
I'm hungry. I need lunch. Breakfast. Supper. Whatever. It's 6:00 p.m., so whatever that makes this meal, that's what I need now.
One year ago today: I got a really great encouraging email from my senior pastor... I'm really hoping he comes to see it. The more people, the better; besides that, the more people who are influential and make decisions, the better. I still feel like I have something to prove. The cool thing, though, is that I just do this. I don't do it to prove anything; I do it because I have to. I don't have any other choice. And if by that, I prove myself, great. If not, I kick it up a notch, but I'm not doing it to gain approval.
infinite || abyss
posted at 5:40 p.m.
