Sun, Feb 10
... I'm a scary person
Hi, my name is Alida, and I randomly unintentionally hit on waiters named Buttercup. Oh, and by the way, never get Laura and I drunk, because we're bad enough when we're just tired, let alone if we were to ever get alcohol into our systems!
So, yah. We went to Denny's, and we were discussing what to order... and I decided that I wanted a garlic mushroom swiss burger, and I asked Laura if she'd mind terribly if I had bad breath. We've seen enough of each other's bad sides that it didn't really matter, so of course she said that yes, it would be fine. Then, we got to talking about relationships--or lack thereof--and during that conversation, Buttercup, our waiter, came to take our order.
Keep in mind that I'd had a long day, with a 5-hour dress rehearsal tossed in there for good measure, and then I'd spoken at the Well, and we were tired, giddy, and playing off each other. Also, Buttercup was a very funny waiter. He started duck or chicken or some other sort of animal walking to lead us to our table, and he promised Laura a milkshake with his blood in it. Okay, so maybe that was just more weird than funny but hey, it's the thought that counts, right?
Anyways, he came to take our order, and attempting in my mush-brained state to banter and play back the fun he was giving us, I told him that I wanted the garlic mushroom swiss burger, and then said, "I'm single, so it doesn't matter what my breath stinks like." Then, realizing that I sounded incredibly desperate, I immediately attempted to backtrack, or qualify my statement, or something like that, by saying, "She doesn't care anyways..." Yeah. I'm brilliant. He didn't talk to me at all for the rest of the evening. Another waitress served our table, and he only talked to Laura after that, not me.
The sad thing is that we go to that Denny's so often that there's a pretty good chance I'll see him there again. Laura says that's why I keep dying my hair--to keep all the many people that I've scared off from recognizing me!
But on a brighter note, Daryl and I had a wonderful conversation about my uterus. He told me that maybe the problem was that it needed to be saved--my uterus needs deliverance. And then he said that he'd picket outside of buildings with me for a "unitarian uterus." I love my friends. I mean really, how many guys would sit with me and discuss the state of my uterus? Not a whole heck of a lot. It takes someone rather... unique to do that. And unique he definitely is. :o)
infinite || abyss
posted at 11:31 p.m.
