Thurs, Dec. 16
... Do you really want to say goodbye
I think that
Laurel and I made someone's night last night. It was pretty cool. We went to Churchill's Musical Theatre 35 final presentations--directing projects, I'm pretty sure--to see one of the girls in her youth group. There were two one-act shows, and the first one, the one that Laurel's girl was in, was okay, but we both ended it by looking at each other going, "I hadn't realized how much I've learned about directing in the past five years." There were just some things about it that I would have done very differently, knowing what I do now, with the experiences I have under my belt.
The second show, though, was ten times better--the acting, singing, dancing, tech, directing... it was all a much higher caliber. And actually, the directing showed a lot of potential.
Anyways, the director had introduced himself at the beginning of the show, so afterwards, Laurel and I went over to talk to him, and told him that we both have our degrees in theatre, are running companies, and thought he was very good, and had a lot of potential.
You should have seen his jaw drop. It was pretty funny--but, then again, if someone had said that to me when I was in high school, I would have been pretty floored, too. Not that he knows anything about our background or anything, but for someone who doesn't have the vested interest that a lot of people have to compliment me is a huge thing. Mom and Dad have to say nice things--other people don't. And especially not strangers.
It was cool, though. In a lot of ways, it made my night.
And on a completely different wavelength... Holy crap. I can't believe it. What is wrong with the administration in some places? Seriously! Why mess with a good thing?
Grrr. It makes me angry. But I can't do anything about it, and that frustrates me.
*sigh* Politics. In a bizarre sort of way, I wish that I was still there--still in the community--because I feel so disjointed from it all right now. I can feel the grapevine lines buzzing all around me, and I'm trying hard to reach out and grasp any solid piece of information, but it keeps eluding me. I can't fix on anything solid. And if I was there, maybe I wouldn't have any more answers, maybe I would. Who knows. But at least I'd be there. Right in the middle of people who are trying to come to terms with it, too.
Do I want to be there? Yes and no. I want to be in the middle of people who understand, but this seems so much bigger now than it did a half an hour ago, when I first found out. It's not just about this one person, this one issue. It seems to be symptomatic of something bigger, affecting the organization as a whole, and that may be what I'm glad I'm away from. I don't know. I have absolutely no perspective on this whatsoever. It's far too fresh, and I have far too little information to be able to say anything intelligent on the issue.
Funny that it takes such a major crisis for me to miss the community the most that I have since I left.
I was going to write about Ismarys' birthday... it was fun. I gave her the present from Blair and me, and it was a hit. Apparently, I got the right brand, right color, right products, right everything. Yeah. Go me. And the fact that Blair gave her a present from across the ocean was a hit, too. As was the fact that both of our names were on the card. For some reason, she really enjoyed that fact. Go figure.
Oy. I can't concentrate on that right now. It was a fun day, but right now, there are many more things that are right on the top of my mind.
Anyways, I need to get out of here, and see what more information I can dredge up. Or try to forget about it until morning, when... I don't know what'll happen. Something.
Dear God, help.
One year ago today: It's cool to know that there are people who invested in me enough--and that I impacted enough--that they still remember me, even after hundreds of students have come and gone through their classrooms since then. A little slice of immortality? Perhaps. On a very tiny scale. It's nice to be remembered.
infinite || abyss
posted at 9:27 p.m.
