Sat, Dec 22
... Are you ready?
I feel gross, and sick, and I just want to stay home and in bed all day. Unfortunately, I have to work in an hour. Yay for me. And then I get to attempt to finish all my Christmas cards. I'm such a procrastinator. I've had them for almost 2 months, but have I written them? Of course not! That would be altogether too sensible!
I absolutely love C.S. Lewis. I'm finishing reading part of "Mere Christianity" (an excerpt that's in this book that I have with 5 of his books in one), and I keep understanding more and more why Marilyn loves his work so much. He takes concepts that I've thought about, but never made heads nor tails of, or even things that hadn't even crossed my mind yet, and makes them make sense. I know, he's a human author, and not infallible--obviously his writing isn't all "pure truth," but it helps to explain a lot. Or it gets me thinking, and then sends my mind down some path to expand on it.
It's kind of what I've been realizing lately... the other day I was talking about how the best kind of life is the kind that just comes. The kind where I'm not trying to "be completely dependent on God;" it's when I'm living from day to day, waking up for another morning, and taking a baby step towards God during that day, that my life is getting closer to God's. It's in the times when I'm not realizing what I'm doing that I think I make the most progress. That's something that just hit me the other day, and I hope I don't overanalyze it so much that I ruin the mystery of it.
Anyways, I was reading this morning, and here's what I read:
But in another sense, it is not trying that is ever going to bring us home. All this trying leads up to the vital moment at which you turn to God and say, "You must do this. I can't." Do not, I implore you, start asking yourselves, "Have I reached that moment?" Do not sit down and start watching your own mind to see if it is coming along. That puts a man on quite the wrong track. When the most important things in our life happen we quite often do not know, at the moment, what is going on. A man does not always say to himself, "Hullo! I'm growing up." It is often only when he looks back that he realises what has happened and recognises it as what people call "growing up."
Ness, Kat, and I were talking last night about being ready for a relationship, and Ness was saying that it was when she thought she was least ready that she was most ready--when she was at the point where all she could say was, "I can't handle this. I'm not ready for it." That's when God came in and basically said, "That's when you're most ready, because now you're going to trust me more instead of trying to do it all by yourself."
Just some interesting thoughts... I don't know yet how they all fit in, or how they all fit together, but I suppose that will come... :o)
infinite || abyss
posted at 1:26 p.m.
