Sat, Apr. 24
... Never cease to fly
And that's a wrap.
It just doesn't feel over. I mean, I know I've still got a few weeks, but for all intents and purposes, this was it. I'll never have a class with most of my classmates; I'll never do another show with the rest of the theatre majors; I'll never audition for another Rocky show; I'll never pick out a scene for those classes... there are so many things that are finished now, and it's so weird. It feels like it'll all be back in September, but it won't.
The relationships that I've built with all my classmates--Laurel, Chelsea, Janna, Jordan, Dave, Janel, Jen, Sharla--they're all changing. We've been in such an intense and close situation for four years, and now, all of a sudden, we're pulled from that. There have been some precious friendships built, and I know that I'll keep in touch with everyone to a point, but when we're not working with each other every day, it's a whole lot different.
I just have to remember that we all had different paths that lead us to Rocky. We had different dreams, goals, pasts, and hopes, and they lead us to each other for four years. That season has taken us in so many different places, but all within the confines of this place and these relationships. Now, we all have different dreams, goals, pasts, and hopes, which now all include Rocky, and we have different paths leading out of here.
It's so easy to get so used to the familiarity of a place like this, though, and we forget that it, too, was once new. Once upon a time, four years ago, we were all getting our acceptance letters and deciding that this was the place that we would invest our years into. This was the place that we would take a chance on and let change us.
And we didn't know it at the time, but these were the people that would help shape us, for better or for worse, into the people we would be when we left.
And change each other, we have. We've all impacted each other, and I can honestly look back on the past four years and say that I'm so much richer for it. For all the ups and downs, I wouldn't trade it for anything. No, it hasn't been the easiest road, but I wouldn't want it to be different. I'm not who I was when I walked into that classroom, and I'm not who I'll be in another four years, but for right now, this is me--this is where I'm supposed to be, and this is who I've become.
Right now, I can't imagine my life without them, but soon, I know that it'll fade. The memories take over the reality, and the reality becomes a pleasant diversion. The pictures prove it, and when any of my classmates become rich and famous and start winning Oscars, I'll have the pictures from "back in the day."
More than that, though, are the evidences in our lives. The ways we've encouraged each other, challenged each other, helped each other grow, loved each other, fought for and against each other; the times when we've competed, worked hard, were disappointed and elated, celebrated with each other, cried with each other, laughed with each other; the days that we didn't think we'd make it to the end, and the days when we were floating on air; the assignments, scenes, papers, and shows that we worked on together; the homes we've lived in, the tours we've been on, the meals we've eaten... all these memories we've made, all these ways that we've touched each other's lives.
All of you--Laurel, Janna, Dave, Chelsea, Jordan, Janel, Jen, Sharla--have influenced me in more ways than you know. More ways than I know at this point. I'll miss you, even if I see you all the time. If that makes sense. But please know that no matter what happens, I have been so blessed to have you in my life and to call you my friends.
We did it. This is it... this is the end of this chapter, but there's another one waiting to be written. There's another path to walk, and there's another travelling song waiting to be sung.
The road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the road has gone,
And I must follow if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet,
And whither then? I cannot say.
J.R.R. Tolkien
Rocky Mountain College senior poem, class of 2004
infinite ||
abyss
posted at 11:28 p.m.
