Thurs, Oct. 17
... Spoiler warning: this entry contains whining
Hmmm.
Anything of extreme interest happening in your world? I get to finally watch Scrubs tonight. I haven't been able to, since the last couple Thursday nights have been spent with Brian. Not a waste of time, per se, but I wanted to watch it. I lead a sad life.
My friend Alanna is engaged. *sigh* Yet another one. I'm honestly tired of people getting engaged. Enough! No one else. Kat and Christian are allowed to get married, but no one else. I'm tired of being lonely. I'm tired of watching everyone else find their soulmates and still watching... still waiting... being there, being part of their relationships, and not being able to have them as part of mine. It sucks. And I'm tired.
I just want my someone. I want to be able to double date with Kat and Christian. I want to vent to her about my boy, just like she vents to me about Christian. I don't want to keep looking. I don't want to be seeing the guys I come across as "possibilities." I want to have mine.
I'm tired of the dead-end relationships and the hurt, lies, and stomped-on feelings. I'm not saying that I'm innocent of all that, but I just want something that goes both ways. And not both wrong ways.
My life doesn't suck. Really, it doesn't, and I'm not trying to say that it does. I'm happy right now... way happier than I was at this time last year. I'm busy, and content, and there are few things that are as emotionally stressful as there were. However, I'm still lonely, and I still want someone. I want to be the one who's being taken care of for a while, instead of having to take care of them all the time. I just want someone to protect me and watch out for me for a change. It's not that I can't, or that I'm not self-sufficient. I can, and I am. I'm just tired.
*sigh*
infinite || abyss
posted at 6:38 p.m.
