Sun, Mar. 9
... Like a bridge over troubled water
Well. That's that. They made me cry again. But am I surprised? No, not at all. There's something about this cast that's had me since day one. Maybe it's the fact that it's smaller than last year; maybe it's the fact that there's the closest sense of camaraderie than any cast I've directed thus far; maybe it's the fact that a big message of the play is appreciating every moment as it happens, so that's what I was doing... I don't know. But whatever it was, there was something about it that was special, and I'm glad I had that with them.
I've been blessed by each of them, and I hope they've been blessed by me as much as I have by them. I don't know, but maybe, if I'm lucky, that's the case.
Tonight, at the end of the play, Mike said his last monologue, and Meghan died. Edwin's expression was stricken, the best it's ever been. He looked at her, and I believed him. I believed that he loved her, and that he didn't know how he would go on without her. Emma was a little fussy backstage, and Esther carried her out, still crying a little, and handed her to Edwin. As soon as she got into Edwin's arms, she was quiet, and just looked at him, then started squalking a little bit again. He held her, rocking her and just looking at her while Emily came out, stroked Emma's head, and latched onto Edwin's leg. The lights faded, and just a split second before the blackout, Edwin leaned over and kissed the top of Emma's head.
I lost it.
That's what it was all about for me. The little moments... the chemistry... the beauty between two people onstage.
They're growing up. Helen told me this morning that after Friday night's show, she couldn't look at them as kids anymore. The responsibility they took and the strength with which they portrayed their characters forced her to see them as adults and respect many of them as adults for the first time.
And to think that, no matter how small a part it was, I had a part in doing that.
It's an incredibly humbling thought. I haven't figured myself out yet, let alone anyone else, but being a part of helping them learn that? It's amazing. Indescribable. I can't imagine anything else like it.
infinite || abyss
posted at 11:57 p.m.
