Sat, Sept. 18
... I wanna make you feel beautiful
I've had about 5 conversations in the past week that were pieces to a very large and very complicated puzzle. Last night, something clicked, and I realized that I can see a part of the picture much more clearly. A part of right now, at least.
It started last weekend, with a conversation at work with Christy, then the conversationwith Blair, then working on the casting process for the Christmas show, then Molly's entry about role models, and then a conversation with Becky about the other four pieces of the puzzle.
The short version of that is that last night, enough pieces fell into place for me to realize that I'm where I need to be right now. I need to remind myself that it's okay that I'm working at Quiznos, even though I have a degree, because a) I'm pursuing my theatre dreams, and b) it's where God wants me to be. It's a good place for me to be, spiritually, and I'm in a very enriching place, in many ways.
And, taking a cue from Molly's entry, and a little bit of inspiration from the anonymous comments, I need to say thank you to the people who have been and become role models and inspirations to me recently. Maybe these won't stay as anonymous, though--maybe they'll go on cards, and I'll send some mail.
- I couldn't have made it through these years without you. I know we've had our "moments" and so many ups and downs, but honestly, I couldn't imagine not having you in my life. You've been an inspiration to me in my career and as a Christian woman, and you make me think about things that I would never confront otherwise. I might not always listen--I might still try to make you see my side of the story--but you've impacted me more than you know. You don't rest until you're satisfied with the answer you've been given, and while that's sometimes frustrating for me, I admire you for it.
- You take caring for all of us to a different level, and it makes such a difference in all of our lives. I can't speak for the rest of them, but it's made all the difference in my world this year. It means so much to know that work is a place that's as comfortable as home, and to know that I can talk to you about the things that normally don't come up in this sort of a relationship. You're one of the reasons I'm still there, and one of the things I don't want to see disappear when I leave, whenever that may be.
- It makes me excited that you get excited about who I am. You have more confidence in me than I have in myself, and it makes me believe that I can be something and go somewhere with my life. You model a balanced life in a way that makes me believe that it is possible, and you remind me that God's plans for my life aren't mine, and I have to be flexible to the curveballs that life throws.
- Right now, you are the "iron sharpens iron" in my life. I see the way you love the people around you, and the passion you have for making a difference, and it inspires me. You have a more vibrant faith than most people I know, and it puts me to shame--but in the kind of way that spurs me on to be better than I am. You're making an impact on them, whether you realize it or not, and I see you changing, too. You're open to God's guidance and direction in a way that most people aren't, and I hope I can learn more from you than I already have.
There are more. When I start to think about it, there are so many people who have impacted me in so many little ways. Maybe there's a difference between impacting and being a role model? Maybe... I know there's a difference between being a role model and a mentor... but how do you differentiate? Is it really necessary? There's a place to just accept the impact, and not try to analyze it.
So, thank you. You've helped to make the pieces of my puzzle fit into place.
infinite || abyss
posted at 9:14 p.m.
