Thurs, Sept. 12
... A smile on my face
So tired. I don't know why, but I couldn't even stay standing up during chapel today. I had to sit down for most of it, just because I literally could not stay standing.
My doctor's appointment was postponed. Again. But only till tomorrow. I swear, that doctor is never in his office. This is the fourth time I've had an appointment postponed, and it's only my second appointment with him! Oh well... it was okay. I came home and slept, instead of writing the paper that I was intending to work on. I still have 2 hours before my next class, though, so I suppose I could get started on it. I need to shower, too, before I head out. I went to class this morning looking like a grub. Pretty easy to do when you're too lazy to get up in enough time to shower, and when all your clothes are dirty because your washing machine is broken.
So. Yesterday. You know, it wasn't really any different from any other day. Honestly. It was just a day. There was an awareness of what it was, of course, but it wasn't penetrating every single decision and every thought of the day. I don't think it needed to.
Life still goes on. My dishes still need to be done, I still have no clean clothes. I still have 2 papers due at the beginning of the week, and I still have to show up at my classes. I'm still job-hunting, and starting to get worried, because I know that it's getting down to the wire for September. I still have to memorize my two monologues for the auditions, and I still need to continue getting the details for the missions trip ready.
Life goes on. For some, yes, it's much different. I understand that. But not for me. Yesterday is no different than today, inasmuch as no day is different from the day before. There was no earth-shattering revelation that changed my world. It's another day. One in which I can pray and remember, most definitely, and I did, but why limit that to one day? Why pray for one day alone? Why not pray every day?
The reminder is good. Yes, it's kind of like Remembrance Day. It's good to have the reminder of how blessed we are; of how our lives were changed because of certain people's actions, whether positive or negative. But really, that doesn't mean that the day should be all that different from most other days.
One year ago today: I'm scared that I won't be as close to her when she gets back. I'm afraid that we'll both change so much that we won't have the same place in each other's lives. I know we'll always have a special place, but I want it to be the same close place that it is now.
infinite || abyss
posted at 2:32 p.m.
