Wed, Dec 19
... The magnificent multi-phasic take your time machine
Driving down that highway is like driving back into grade 12. That's the last time I spent any significant amount of time in that town, so whenever I drive in, it's like I'm driving in to school. School, with all my hangouts from spare, the bottle depot, the school... it's like the theme song that plays in my head every time I go back is "We Go Together," from
Grease!. Maybe that's partly because I watched a bit of the
Grease! practice today, but it's always the thing going through my head.
I drive up to the school, and I can almost see the Show'n'Shine, or the Battle of the Sexes, or some other event going on on the front lawn. I walk inside, and I expect to see Breanna at her locker, Cara sitting up by the library, the group who hangs out in the Pit, in the Pit.
Even though I was in the new building today, I still picture myself in the old building... I think about the conversation I had with Mrs. Hune, and I don't see it in the new places; I see it sitting in her old classroom. That old school has character, and part of my character is intrinsically entwined with that building and the memories I have there. I think about "the high school" and I think about my corner of the upstairs; the theatre, where I spent 1/2 my grade 12 year; the office, where I could run as freely as the teachers; the SLC room, where I used to take naps during spare; the hangouts where I used to go on my spares; the library; Breanna's house, Cara's house, Christy's house, the non-school places where I spent so much time; all of it... that's so much of what I remember.
And driving down that highway takes me back to all of it; makes me expect to see it all again and for everything to be the same, and there's a kind of disappointment when it's not.
Not that I want to go back to high school, because I really don't; I look at how much my life has changed since then and how much richer it is now, and I realize that I don't want to be back there, no matter what I say in a moment of insanity. But it's like getting into a time machine to go back there, and getting out and feeling like, somehow, the time machine didn't quite work. Ah well...
Anyways, it's almost time to go get Ness from the airport! She's definitely one of those blessings since high school; one of the reasons I wouldn't want to go back, even if I could.
infinite || abyss
posted at 5:34 p.m.
