Wed, Jan. 8
... I wanna be the one to grow old with you
As I get older, wiser, and hopefully more mature (oh yeah, and as I make my own myriads of mistakes along the way), I find myself becoming more and more uncomfortable with the idea of unmarried couples sleeping together. Not in the sense of having sex, because I've believed that that's something that is only intended for marriage for a long time. Moreso in the sense of sleeping. Actually taking a nap, or spending the night. You know, when your body goes into a temporary state of unconsciousness. That kind of thing.
I know many people, though, who would agree that while sex outside of marriage is wrong, sleeping together isn't. Yeah, it's comforting, secure, and makes you feel so loved. Even if that's not the way the relationship is going. There's something very peaceful and safe about sleeping together. And a lot of people I know would argue that there's nothing wrong--nothing inherently sinful--about spending the night together every now and then. And no, I can't bring up any firm biblical evidence against it, or anything like that, but my opinion on the matter has become more conservative. Interesting, because my opinions on some other things have become more liberal over the past few years.
There's the issue that sleeping together is definitely a temptation to go further. And don't say that it's not. I don't think that there's any couple that can sleep together--especially for extended periods of time--and not be tempted to do more than that. I know that that definitely hasn't been the case when I've been in that situation. But that's almost beside the point.
I just think that sleeping together is so intimate. In some ways, it's just as--if not more--intimate as sex. There's a certain level of vulnerability and trust when you sleep with somebody, and I don't think that was meant to be shared with just anybody.
I remember reading something once, and at the time I thought it seemed far too rigid, but as I experience more, it makes sense. It was a letter, written to a single woman in her 30's, about the rights and wrongs of sleeping with guy friends, and this woman answered something to the effect of, "I have a lot of guy friends, and I do different things with them, but sleeping isn't one of them. It's something special that I want to save for my husband."
I don't know... I don't know how it all fits, or where the boundaries need to lie. I'm a little bit wary of open boundaries: "You do what works for you; I'll do what works for me." It just seems too relativistic and situational for me. There are definite rights and wrongs, and there are standards that everyone needs to adhere to. At the same time, though, there are instances where the application of those standards and black and white truths looks different for different people.
Like I said, I don't know if sleeping together is a "sin," but I think that it can be a weak spot. It can lead to so much more--physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally--than it appears to on the surface, and anything that intimate needs to be handled with caution.
I don't have the answers--any of them, let alone all of them--but sometimes I wonder why we talk about and marvel at the declining morality among Christians when we're so casual about things like this. Maybe there's a correlation? I don't know. Maybe it really is no big deal, but it just seems to me to be something bigger than we give it credit for.
infinite || abyss
posted at 2:05 p.m.
